 By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator It really doesn’t make sense, does it? Couples will spend $10,000+ and a year or more planning their wedding but spend nothing to prepare for their marriage. This could be a dangerous and potentially destructive oversight. For this reason, from the start of our organization (in 2005) we asked local pastors to sign a pledge that they would not marry a couple unless they had premarital counseling or coaching. We, and many area pastors as it turns out, feel it is THAT important! So, as we dive deep into our theme of preparation for this month, looking at the advantages of premarital counseling and coaching is as natural for us as it is foundational.
0 Comments
Till death do us part. Those are the vows that we hear at weddings. But what do they really mean to each of us? We get married, have families, create memories, and hardly ever give that simple phrase another thought. Until the day comes that a doctor tells us devastating news, or a tragic accident happens that is beyond imaginable.
 By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate Spring is a time for new birth and new growth…and at the Encompass office it’s a time when we start getting calls from engaged couples preparing for their weddings! After fielding one of those calls recently I found myself thinking about what things I wish I would have been told before getting married. There were many misconceptions my husband and I had that we quickly found out were wrong! After 25 years together, I can confidently debunk the following ones!  By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director Is there a one-liner of 20-30 words that captures what you do at work? I know, many of us do dozens of things every day, and it would take more like 200-300 words to describe them all. At a recent marketing consultation, I was invited to write such a one-liner, and in a bit you’ll see it.  By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator
At first, I thought it had to be an error. After triple checking my planner, I happily accepted it as our reality. A whole day off! No events, no appointments, no practices, no rushing! WOOHOO!! But, THEN my mind immediately goes to my to-do list: order groceries, hand wash the delicates, clean the bathroom, prepare a lesson for my small group, start planning next weeks schedule, shop for Easter baskets… Ugh! (Insert hand over face emoji here.) My brain needs an “off” switch!  Couples at Sweetheart Gala 2023 Is there a connection between couples having fun and experiencing romance? Not sure I would have made such a correlation until Ronda and I actually experienced it ourselves at a WinShape Marriage Retreat in Rome, Georgia. A series of couple challenges where both of us had to work together really gave us the FEELING of being connected in a positive way.
We found out later that it's part of the WinShape Marriage DNA - to CREATE environments and opportunities for couples to have fun together. Want to know more about this connection?  By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director Darnell and Bekah came to walk through the RINGS Experience education and coaching, having been married for 12 1/2 years and being parents of 4 active young boys. Their online relationship assessment was average with some areas like connection, intimacy, stress responses, and conflict resolution way below average and needing significant skill-building. Their weekly preparation, or "homework", and then meeting with a certified coach helped them grow in understanding their relationship deficits, but more importantly, to learn skills and tools to enhance their sense of "US". One skill, the RINGS Chat, made quite a difference as they began doing it daily to share feelings, intentions/information, needs, gratitude, and dreams for the future." This is what I have so been so hungry for," she remarked the week after learning the RINGS Chat. "We feel as close as we have ever felt after 12 years of marriage." And Darnell is meeting her love languages of gifts and affirmation with little notes all over the house. And the boys are seeing the notes and getting in on the excitement. Responding to the RINGS Experience final evaluation, Bekah commented about the personal impact: "I want to experience life to the fullest with my husband now and to try new things with him. I feel like I have grown so much as an individual through this experience." Darnell commented about the SOS conflict resolution tool: "We both need a tool to be able to share our feelings in a safe and productive way and this has provided that."In their final session, both observed that as they reviewed major stressors in their lives, "For the first time in many, many years our marriage relationship was not on the list!" At Encompass we celebrate the wonderful transformation experienced by this couple and that their "family tree has been forever changed." If you’re looking for guidance and growth in your relationship or parenting abilities, get in touch with a knowledgeable and sincere advocate or coach at Encompass Connection center by following the links below. By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator
Every day, at some point, my mind somehow finds its way to my sister. At 37, she and my nephew are “starting over.” Single mom is her new label. Her thoughts of failure and hopelessness are often almost too much to bear. My mom repeated a conversation the two of them had not long ago in which my sister said to her “why couldn’t my marriage have been like my sister’s?” The past 22 years of my life have without a doubt, been my favorite. This is the number of years Joe and I have been together, (married 19 of those.) He is my favorite person, my very best friend, and hand picked for me by God. I do feel very blessed, but I remember a time when I did not. By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate As we continue to dive into our topic this month, "New," I would love to explore some ways that old relationships may have something new! I’ve had some experience with this recently regarding a Christmas gift I purchased for my Mom. If we’re talking about relationships, there are none “older” than the ones with our parents! I’m sure if asked, I may have said in the past that I know everything there is to know about my Mom. I’ve discovered recently how untrue that is! For Christmas this year I bought my mom a subscription to a platform that facilitates her sharing all kinds of memories from her life in one place. At the end of the year it puts all of those stories together into a bound book about her life, for us to share! You may remember Lavern talking about his book in a prior blog post, A Powerful Present of Presence.  By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator As we transition into this new year, a question has been on my mind: Did I make the most of my marriage in 2022? It’s not a question for the faint of heart. It’s an examining question, a difficult question, and it leads to another question: Will I be honest enough with myself about this question? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
All
Archives
March 2023
|
FIND IT QUICKLY |
STAY CONNECTEDOFFICE HOURSMON 9a-2p
TUE 9a-2p WED 9a-2p THU 9a-2p Other hours by appointment VISIT US616 N. Limestone St. | Springfield, OH
|
Funding is provided by Clark County Job and Family Services, The Turner Foundation, Springfield Foundation, Buckeye Health, private donations and fees.
Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217
Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217