 By Lavern Nissley
A number of years ago Ronda and I were in a mentoring session with a couple married for 20 years. They were "prickly" - a term we've come to use for very stressed couples. The puzzle was that they had taken all kinds of marriage classes, attended retreats and read the latest books on marriage. But it wasn't evident at all! In one session they said something profound. "We know what our problem is. It's actually 3 things." When they said what the 3 things were, we both thought, "Yep! You certainly do seem to have these 3."
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 By Lavern Nissley
Whenever two or more people come together for any purpose, goal or objective, there is potential for things going horribly wrong or incredibly well, with plenty of intermediate options. Most of us have experienced both ends of this social emotionally laden continuum. What is it that influences one outcome or the other? Mathematician and relationship researcher John Gottman has developed 4 predictors of marriage failure and 4 predictors of marriage success based upon his observation of hundreds of couples. Want to know what they are?  By Lavern Nissley
So, it's been a week since 2019 launched. Many people resolve to make major changes and transformations in light of starting a fresh, new year. Lose 40 pounds. Save $10,000 for some necessary expense. Read 50 books. Is there a secret to making and keeping ambitious resolutions? What is the silver bullet that unlocks productivity and the achievement of goals that most people back away from? It's way simpler than you may imagine!  By Lavern Nissley
You could pretty quickly list a whole bunch of things that are going wrong in your life, that are frustrating you or that people around you are screwing up. What happens to your mood when that's your focus? Yucky and dark, right?  By Lavern Nissley
You've heard of The Five Love Languages, right? By Dr. Gary Chapman? Quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation and physical touch. These are types of love "deposits" into people's hearts. But what about when we make "withdrawals" through intentional or unintentional offenses? Are there also "languages of apology"? Yes! There are! And by the same author!  By Lavern Nissley
Includes excellent content by guest, Jeff Cook So, what do you think? Better to confront someone verbally in person or by writing? What is at stake with either? Let's hear some excellent reflections by Jeff Cook on this.  By Lavern Nissley
Everyone has a personality. Some are outgoing; others are reserved. Some take risks easily; others are cautious. Some hate change and prefer routine; others love change and prefer variety. If your personality could be represented by colors, what would you be? Red? Orange? Yellow? Green? Blue? Purple? A combination of colors? If you're curious and really want to be certain, well . . . you're probably a blue.  By Lavern Nissley
Recently I was asked the question: "So what piece of advice would you give to anyone across the board in any relationship? Is there something that fits for anyone in any relationship?" While I'm not usually one to propose "one size fits all" responses, here's how I answered the question.  By Lavern Nissley
Anger. Fear. Sadness. Joy. Excitement. You've felt these emotions. All people do. But not all people know what to do with them. Want to know a master skill in understanding yourself and others?  By Lavern Nissley
If you've ever been in the presence of a masterful listener you feel quite different than when someone is preoccupied with talking about themselves. Is there anything we can do to listen better? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. 
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