 By Lavern Nissley In early October of 2020 as a client couple was wrapping up the final session in the RINGS course, the husband asked an intriguing question: "Do you have a RINGS quick reference guide to help us remember all of the skills and insights we've learned. We don't want to forget what we've just completed."
"What a great idea!" I responded. Since its launch in May, 2007, RINGS has been experienced by thousands of couples. And this was the first time such a request had ever been voiced. What could we develop for completing couples to post on their refrigerators or bathroom mirrors? What you'll see below is the final outcome - with much appreciation to Joe Candio for the initial idea.
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 By Jenny Hamilton I might be odd, but I like the new normal of meeting with people virtually! I’m an introverted, shy techie who enjoys trying new ways of doing things! I also enjoy people but am most comfortable being alone. Virtual fits me perfectly! (Yes, my poor husband often has trouble getting me to connect with him when we’re “in person”.)
So what’s the status of my “in-person” relationships? I think they’re getting better! Why? Because, believe it or not, during my virtual encounters I’m often reminded of some very important truths about relationships. Here are some favorites of what I like to call …“My Virtual Presents."  By Kermit Rowe I like to call it “The Flip.” It is as unnatural as it is powerful. But if a couple can make “The Flip,” then the future growth of their relationship and happiness takes an upward trajectory.
What I am speaking of is a change of focus in our relationship. If we are honest, when we enter a relationship with a significant other, we do so with the expectation that this person will make us happier in our life. We love them, but a big component of that love often is how that person makes us feel. But what if we changed our approach, turning to a divine truth to transform our relationship and home?  By Lavern Nissley
How do you respond when someone you’ve just met remembers your name and uses it multiple times in your first exchange? How is your impression of that person different from one who refers to you in more generic terms like friend, sister or bud? Is the effort and concentration required to learn people's names worth it?  By Lavern Nissley
A number of years ago Ronda and I were in a mentoring session with a couple married for 20 years. They were "prickly" - a term we've come to use for very stressed couples. The puzzle was that they had taken all kinds of marriage classes, attended retreats and read the latest books on marriage. But it wasn't evident at all! In one session they said something profound. "We know what our problem is. It's actually 3 things." When they said what the 3 things were, we both thought, "Yep! You certainly do seem to have these 3."  By Lavern Nissley
Whenever two or more people come together for any purpose, goal or objective, there is potential for things going horribly wrong or incredibly well, with plenty of intermediate options. Most of us have experienced both ends of this social emotionally laden continuum. What is it that influences one outcome or the other? Mathematician and relationship researcher John Gottman has developed 4 predictors of marriage failure and 4 predictors of marriage success based upon his observation of hundreds of couples. Want to know what they are?  By Lavern Nissley
So, it's been a week since 2019 launched. Many people resolve to make major changes and transformations in light of starting a fresh, new year. Lose 40 pounds. Save $10,000 for some necessary expense. Read 50 books. Is there a secret to making and keeping ambitious resolutions? What is the silver bullet that unlocks productivity and the achievement of goals that most people back away from? It's way simpler than you may imagine!  By Lavern Nissley
You could pretty quickly list a whole bunch of things that are going wrong in your life, that are frustrating you or that people around you are screwing up. What happens to your mood when that's your focus? Yucky and dark, right?  By Lavern Nissley
You've heard of The Five Love Languages, right? By Dr. Gary Chapman? Quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation and physical touch. These are types of love "deposits" into people's hearts. But what about when we make "withdrawals" through intentional or unintentional offenses? Are there also "languages of apology"? Yes! There are! And by the same author!  By Lavern Nissley
Includes excellent content by guest, Jeff Cook So, what do you think? Better to confront someone verbally in person or by writing? What is at stake with either? Let's hear some excellent reflections by Jeff Cook on this. |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. 
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