 By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator It really doesn’t make sense, does it? Couples will spend $10,000+ and a year or more planning their wedding but spend nothing to prepare for their marriage. This could be a dangerous and potentially destructive oversight. For this reason, from the start of our organization (in 2005) we asked local pastors to sign a pledge that they would not marry a couple unless they had premarital counseling or coaching. We, and many area pastors as it turns out, feel it is THAT important! So, as we dive deep into our theme of preparation for this month, looking at the advantages of premarital counseling and coaching is as natural for us as it is foundational.
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 By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate Spring is a time for new birth and new growth…and at the Encompass office it’s a time when we start getting calls from engaged couples preparing for their weddings! After fielding one of those calls recently I found myself thinking about what things I wish I would have been told before getting married. There were many misconceptions my husband and I had that we quickly found out were wrong! After 25 years together, I can confidently debunk the following ones!  By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
Time and time again, I sit in the coaching rooms of Encompass Connection Center as one of its relationship facilitators and work with struggling couples who find themselves wondering: “How did we ever get here?” No one gets married to get divorced. One chooses “to become one” with another human being with the belief that life together with our perceived soulmate will be much better than without them. Yet the stresses of life, inevitable mistakes by both spouses and poor communication habits erode their relationship and weaken their love. How do they get back to where they started their holy matrimony? Introduction by Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director The brief video we're featuring answers the question, "How do you know when it's time to seek help in your marriage?" Not every couple reaching out to us is on the brink - some just want to grow in their skills. But Kevin and Renee were giving it one final attempt. Their heartfelt reflections are an encouragement to all couples who can identify with them. Encompass Connection Center helps couples learn how to create fulfilling, productive relationships for years to come. We offer a free relationship assessment to determine your relationship’s strengths and potential threats. For additional help, look into our RINGS Experience, which includes marriage strengthening exercises and a coaching model to help build real intimacy and growth skills. We'll also help you to break those destructive patterns that may negatively impact generations.  By: Cindee Johnson Encompass Relationship Coach Orange barrels. No trespassing. Yield. Under construction. Do not enter. Danger. No outlet. Stop. Do you ignore these cautionary signs? Hopefully not! They are meant to protect you. Do you know there are cautionary signs for our relationships, too? Although these aren’t posted quite so clearly along life’s journey, they can become glaring warnings, especially in communication and conflict. As the 5 Man Electrical Band sang in 1970, “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.” But... what are the signs? How do we identify them? Where do we get help in understanding them? Relationship researcher John Gottman has identified“ Four horsemen” seeking to destroy marriages. They ride in with signs we can’t afford to ignore. Gorman describes the four like this:  By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director If you wanted to improve your golf swing or baking skills, you would likely seek quite a different avenue of professional expertise than if you had just suffered a compound fracture.
Relationships and marriages have these same two dimensions of expertise: one is more focused upon healing and therapy, the other upon learning and implementing skills. Let’s dive in and see how these fit together. By: Jeff Pinkleton Encompass Connection Center Board Member I believe it was Paul David Tripp, who first spoke a hard truth into my spirit about marriage.
One of the primary goals of the God covenant with a man and woman is that they each would conform to the image of Christ. And yes, to accomplish this purpose, God wants to use your spouse to mold you into His image. More than anyone or anything else, says Tripp and others. Sounds a bit painful, and challenging. Yes and Amen. One of the main ways, I’ve seen this play out in my marriage to Kara, is the high priority and value of our same sex friendships. Here's what I mean...  By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director My Dad and my son, Josh, both have the same birthdays on June 8 - 39 years apart. I always start thinking about this unique historical overlap as the month of June begins. This year Josh and Emily are expecting a son, but my Dad won't get to meet him as he passed last November. It got me thinking about my future great-grandchildren, hoping I get to meet at least a few. Likely our age gap would be 70-80 years. What would I want to give them that would enrich their lives? What life hacks could I offer them that would still be relevant in their generation? Here goes . . .  By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate
A few weeks ago our executive director shared lots of great tips on staying connected with your partner. Hopefully you found some valuable information there! You may have come away from it wondering how you became so disconnected in the first place? There are lots of reasons couples might find themselves disconnected from life stressors to internal struggles that aren’t being addressed. I would like to share with you what that path to disconnection* often looks like and what you can do to turn the tide!  By Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator A recent email blast from Family Life came into my inbox asking a question that immediately caught my attention: “Between you and your spouse, who is the one who typically wins arguments?”
The go-to gut reaction for many of us tends to be a lengthy (or maybe not so lengthy) review of the scorecard we tend to keep of our most recent series of arguments – at least the ones we remember. Why is it so important that we win? Because we want things to go our way, and we are willing to forfeit temporarily a little bit of peace and harmony to get what we want. Besides. nobody likes to lose. Right? That led me to another question: “When we win, do we really win?” |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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Funding is provided by Clark County Job and Family Services, The Turner Foundation, Springfield Foundation, Buckeye Health, private donations and fees.
Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217
Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217