By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator Oh, how I love this boy. My son Dominik has his mother’s…well, everything. He is the most like me out of my four kids. The poor kid got my need for control, independence, my stubbornness, sensitivity, and poor math skills. But he also got my big heart, my passionate, charismatic personality, my drive, determination, and eyes that tend to see the best in people. The two of us stick together like glue…until we don’t. Due to our passionate and sensitive nature, if we don’t agree on an issue, our home becomes a battleground and unfortunately the innocent bystanders, known as our family, get drawn into battle as well.
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By: Cindee Johnson
Encompass Relationship Coach Traffic was flowing smoothly on the fairly crowded Columbus, Ohio, roadway. As we neared a major highway split, the vehicle next to us floored it. Cutting through the area marked with yellow hazard lines, the driver suddenly shifted into our lane barely missing a concrete barrier that could have tragically stopped him. Our Jeep automatically sensed the reckless vehicle and slowed nearly to a stop. My husband Dave looked ahead breathing a sigh of relief that the Jeep offers such great safety features. At the same time, I watched in the passenger side mirror commenting that the Jeep nearly stopping was not safe and we were going to get rear-ended! September's theme for our social media and blog posts is devotion/faithfulness. Kermit Rowe, one of our Relationship Facilitators shares about the skills needed for a lasting marriage, that many times are in short supply.
Devotion and faithfulness seem to be in short supply in our culture these days. So, when you see these two qualities alive and well in a lasting marriage, you’ve got to wonder what that couple has that about 50 percent of the couples who enter into holy matrimony don’t. By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator We spend 70-80% of our day engaged in some form of communication. 55% of that time is generally devoted to listening. The average person who has not worked to develop good listening skills will only remember about half of any recent conversation. 48 hours after the conversation, they are likely to only remember 25% or less… and then there’s me. My “working mom brain” has so many “open tabs” at any given time, I consider it a win if I remember my own children’s names on a daily basis. Because of the “coordinated chaos” in my head sometimes, I tend to “drift” when conversing with my husband-especially in the evening after a long day. We don’t have much time together during the week and I always want him to feel that he is important, that I value his thoughts and emotions. So… By Kermit Rowe Encompass Relationship Facilitator More than half my life was spent as a sports journalist, a life that is now in the rearview mirror. But I continue to see valuable corollaries between the games of the sports world and the game of life. In my last four years as an Encompass Connection Center relationship coach, the similarities are even more glaring – especially in realm of committed couple relationships. The most common answer given to us, to the question "What are you struggling with as a couple?" is COMMUNICATION. This month our posts will feature tips, insights, and research related to improving communication.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director The topic of communication is pretty broad, so we'll narrow the scope to the 2 basic elements of interpersonal asserting and listening. BOTH are needed in order for communication to be productive. ASSERTING is expressing your wishes and interests in a positive way - not being aggressive or demanding. It is the opposite of being silent, of pretending to agree, of passive aggression. LISTENING is hearing to understand what the other person is saying - not interrupting or planning your own response. There are six animal types that represent common human responses to stress and that interfere with productive communication. Want to know your type(s)? By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director (Our blog posts in May will feature content surrounding health of various types - with a connection to relationships, of course!) Those of you that know Ronda and me well know that we've become quite fond of bicycling. In fact, you may know that for the past thirteen years we've ridden about 13,000 miles on a rather unique looking tandem recumbent bike. It has provided us with hundreds of hours interacting with each other and working together as a team (most of the time😊) to enjoy biking adventures, sometime up to 30 and 40 miles at a time. We've accomplished six or seven "century rides" - that's 100 miles in one day. What you may not know is the "WHY" of bicycling for us. You'll see three solid reasons that have made this activity our favorite health investment. By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator It really doesn’t make sense, does it? Couples will spend $10,000+ and a year or more planning their wedding but spend nothing to prepare for their marriage. This could be a dangerous and potentially destructive oversight. For this reason, from the start of our organization (in 2005) we asked local pastors to sign a pledge that they would not marry a couple unless they had premarital counseling or coaching. We, and many area pastors as it turns out, feel it is THAT important! So, as we dive deep into our theme of preparation for this month, looking at the advantages of premarital counseling and coaching is as natural for us as it is foundational. By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate Spring is a time for new birth and new growth…and at the Encompass office it’s a time when we start getting calls from engaged couples preparing for their weddings! After fielding one of those calls recently I found myself thinking about what things I wish I would have been told before getting married. There were many misconceptions my husband and I had that we quickly found out were wrong! After 25 years together, I can confidently debunk the following ones! By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
Time and time again, I sit in the coaching rooms of Encompass Connection Center as one of its relationship facilitators and work with struggling couples who find themselves wondering: “How did we ever get here?” No one gets married to get divorced. One chooses “to become one” with another human being with the belief that life together with our perceived soulmate will be much better than without them. Yet the stresses of life, inevitable mistakes by both spouses and poor communication habits erode their relationship and weaken their love. How do they get back to where they started their holy matrimony? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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