September's theme for our social media and blog posts is devotion/faithfulness. Kermit Rowe, one of our Relationship Facilitators shares about the skills needed for a lasting marriage, that many times are in short supply.
Devotion and faithfulness seem to be in short supply in our culture these days. So, when you see these two qualities alive and well in a lasting marriage, you’ve got to wonder what that couple has that about 50 percent of the couples who enter into holy matrimony don’t.
0 Comments
By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate When our Outreach Coordinator told me this month’s topic is devotion and faithfulness…my first thought was that I didn’t have anything to say on that topic! Which is ironic since I have been with my husband for 25 years now. I suppose I do know a thing or two! While the definition of devotion includes love and loyalty, which is what most think of when they hear that word, it also includes “enthusiasm!" That definitely got my brain thinking… when was the last time I expressed enthusiasm for my partner? The September theme for our social media and blog posts is devotion/faith. Gina Craun and her family experienced the ultimate loss, but through it all maintained their faith and devotion to each other and to God. See where it's brought them in the following blog post by Gina.
This was my 3 year old daughter's bold and unquestioning response when I asked her what she learned in her class while I was in service one Sunday. I laughed and asked her what she meant and, without even looking up from the sucker she was trying desperately to unwrap, she informed me, “They said that Jesus lives in my heart… so I think right now He’s cookin’ in there.” And you know what… I can’t disagree. When our oldest son, Cainan, was 2 years old he was playing on the floor with his cars and seemed a bit sluggish. When I felt his body burning up again, with yet another fever that month, we took him to our family doctor to get some antibiotics. Little did we know that within 24 hours we would be packing overnight bags and be admitted to the closest children’s hospital. Within hours, our world was turned upside down and the word “leukemia” entered our daily vocabulary. Because of the strength his specific type of leukemia possessed, chemo alone was not going to be enough. We began prepping for a bone marrow transplant. A transplant that our oldest son at 2 would be receiving and our youngest son, at 11 months old, would be donating bone marrow for. During this time I began an online journal. It was my goal to find God’s plan and purpose in each day and each step of our journey and share that hope and light with others. I found such encouragement in this because… you see what you look for. And I wanted to see what God was cooking up for our family through this. By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach & Event Coordinator There is a reason the phrase “for richer or poorer” is included in the marriage vows. Money is the second leading cause of divorce (behind infidelity.) Regardless of how much you love your spouse, money can be a major source of frustration and contention in a relationship… especially when you love to shop and OH, HOW I LOVE TO SHOP! I love it even more when there is a good deal to be had! I mean who can resist a “like new” accent chair in the exact color of the living room for HALF the original price? (Not me.) My dopamine receptors go crazy when I click that Marketplace tab and find aaaall the things! My easy-going husband is so good to me. He loves to hear excitement in my voice. So, when I start to talk about all the great deals I’ve found during the week on Marketplace, it’s cute and makes him giggle… until it doesn’t. When it’s time to get serious about saving money, I steer clear of the Marketplace tab. Here are a few suggestions that you might find helpful as I have, when I am trying to save money: By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator We spend 70-80% of our day engaged in some form of communication. 55% of that time is generally devoted to listening. The average person who has not worked to develop good listening skills will only remember about half of any recent conversation. 48 hours after the conversation, they are likely to only remember 25% or less… and then there’s me. My “working mom brain” has so many “open tabs” at any given time, I consider it a win if I remember my own children’s names on a daily basis. Because of the “coordinated chaos” in my head sometimes, I tend to “drift” when conversing with my husband-especially in the evening after a long day. We don’t have much time together during the week and I always want him to feel that he is important, that I value his thoughts and emotions. So… By Kermit Rowe Encompass Relationship Facilitator More than half my life was spent as a sports journalist, a life that is now in the rearview mirror. But I continue to see valuable corollaries between the games of the sports world and the game of life. In my last four years as an Encompass Connection Center relationship coach, the similarities are even more glaring – especially in realm of committed couple relationships. By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator If you are looking for objective, empirical evidence that physical fitness leads to marital happiness and endurance, you’ll be looking long and hard. There just isn’t much out there. But observation and personal experience offer plenty of evidence that it does. Focus On The Family, one of the preeminent marriage ministries of the 20th and 21st centuries, offers this in a recent article: “Exercise isn’t the answer to every marriage issue, but it will help you to bond on a new level and establish invaluable disciplines, such as perseverance and goal-setting, that can help combat marital fatigue.” By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator It really doesn’t make sense, does it? Couples will spend $10,000+ and a year or more planning their wedding but spend nothing to prepare for their marriage. This could be a dangerous and potentially destructive oversight. For this reason, from the start of our organization (in 2005) we asked local pastors to sign a pledge that they would not marry a couple unless they had premarital counseling or coaching. We, and many area pastors as it turns out, feel it is THAT important! So, as we dive deep into our theme of preparation for this month, looking at the advantages of premarital counseling and coaching is as natural for us as it is foundational. By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate Spring is a time for new birth and new growth…and at the Encompass office it’s a time when we start getting calls from engaged couples preparing for their weddings! After fielding one of those calls recently I found myself thinking about what things I wish I would have been told before getting married. There were many misconceptions my husband and I had that we quickly found out were wrong! After 25 years together, I can confidently debunk the following ones! By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator As we transition into this new year, a question has been on my mind: Did I make the most of my marriage in 2022? It’s not a question for the faint of heart. It’s an examining question, a difficult question, and it leads to another question: Will I be honest enough with myself about this question? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
All
Archives
September 2023
|