By Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
A recent email blast from Family Life came into my inbox asking a question that immediately caught my attention: “Between you and your spouse, who is the one who typically wins arguments?”
The go-to gut reaction for many of us tends to be a lengthy (or maybe not so lengthy) review of the scorecard we tend to keep of our most recent series of arguments – at least the ones we remember. Why is it so important that we win? Because we want things to go our way, and we are willing to forfeit temporarily a little bit of peace and harmony to get what we want. Besides. nobody likes to lose. Right?
That led me to another question: “When we win, do we really win?”
By: Ronda Nissley
Many of us are familiar with the biblical story of Daniel who was a high ranking administrator in ancient Babylon. Daniel is often hailed for his wisdom and courage in the face of adversity. But did you ever wonder how Daniel was able to not only survive but thrive in what was likely a hostile work environment? Likely, he faced many things that conflicted with his faith and culture.
By Lisa Carnegis
After 23 years of marriage (31 if you count dating), you’d think we’d be experts at relationships. At least that’s what we thought.
For the majority of our marriage, our communication with one another suffered. This was long enough for patterns and habits to set in.
By Encompass Outreach Group
Every relationship has difficulties like arguments, disagreements, and fights. Marriage is no different. When conflict arises in a marriage, the most important thing to remember is that the conflict is not the problem. How you deal with the conflict is the real issue, because you can either resolve it or magnify it. Here are some tips for resolving conflict in marriage.
By Malcolm & Kristen Davis
How many times have you messed up in relationships and wanted to just shut down and shut off? What do you do when you are working hard, and things are going well, and you mess it up? How we respond or react will change everything.
Take a timeout when you're angry
Ever heard of an amygdala hijack? Ever seen one? It's what happens in our brains when the amygdala, a small gland gets an urgent message that we're in danger, and it's time to shut down the thinking part of our brain and dump a bunch of neurochemicals to help us respond and survive the danger.
When allowed, the effect can be pretty dramatic. (Remember Lou Ferrigno as The Incredible Hulk?) Like in over the top anger and actions that we later regret and wish we could take back. So what is the best way to deal with anger when we feel it rushing throughout our bodies?
Lavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships.