By: Cindee Johnson
Encompass Relationship Coach
Orange barrels. No trespassing. Yield. Under construction. Do not enter. Danger. No outlet. Stop. Do you ignore these cautionary signs? Hopefully not! They are meant to protect you.
Do you know there are cautionary signs for our relationships, too? Although these aren’t posted quite so clearly along life’s journey, they can become glaring warnings, especially in communication and conflict.
As the 5 Man Electrical Band sang in 1970, “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.”
But... what are the signs?
How do we identify them?
Where do we get help in understanding them?
Relationship researcher John Gottman has identified“ Four horsemen” seeking to destroy marriages. They ride in with signs we can’t afford to ignore. Gorman describes the four like this:
By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director
If you wanted to improve your golf swing or baking skills, you would likely seek quite a different avenue of professional expertise than if you had just suffered a compound fracture.
Relationships and marriages have these same two dimensions of expertise: one is more focused upon healing and therapy, the other upon learning and implementing skills. Let’s dive in and see how these fit together.
Lavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships.