The theme for August posts will be Finances/Money in Marriage, which seems to be a common issue between spouses.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director "Money is the root of all evil", right? Wrong. It is the LOVE of money that creates problems. Ronda and I have watched this play out dozens of times on Dateline, the NBC show of 31 seasons that specializes in "compelling mysteries, powerful documentaries, and in-depth investigations." Typically, one or both partners are on a trajectory that has them loving money or pursuing sex outside of the relationship and ending in murder. But marriage and money CAN go together well, provided that the following tips are followed. If implemented, we can almost guarantee that you won't end up on Dateline!
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The most common answer given to us, to the question "What are you struggling with as a couple?" is COMMUNICATION. This month our posts will feature tips, insights, and research related to improving communication.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director The topic of communication is pretty broad, so we'll narrow the scope to the 2 basic elements of interpersonal asserting and listening. BOTH are needed in order for communication to be productive. ASSERTING is expressing your wishes and interests in a positive way - not being aggressive or demanding. It is the opposite of being silent, of pretending to agree, of passive aggression. LISTENING is hearing to understand what the other person is saying - not interrupting or planning your own response. There are six animal types that represent common human responses to stress and that interfere with productive communication. Want to know your type(s)? By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director (Our blog posts in May will feature content surrounding health of various types - with a connection to relationships, of course!) Those of you that know Ronda and me well know that we've become quite fond of bicycling. In fact, you may know that for the past thirteen years we've ridden about 13,000 miles on a rather unique looking tandem recumbent bike. It has provided us with hundreds of hours interacting with each other and working together as a team (most of the time😊) to enjoy biking adventures, sometime up to 30 and 40 miles at a time. We've accomplished six or seven "century rides" - that's 100 miles in one day. What you may not know is the "WHY" of bicycling for us. You'll see three solid reasons that have made this activity our favorite health investment. By: Cindee Johnson, Relationship Coach
Are you making those holiday lists and checking them twice? What do you gift the kids? Your spouse? Friends? Family? All. Those. Lists. Yes, we are in the midst of the greatest gift-giving season of the year. Also, the most stressful... By Abby Glaser
Hi, my name is Abby, and I hate change! I am a creature of habit and routine. I love predictability, schedules and knowing what will come next. I follow the same routine every day. I’m also the mother of five children so you can imagine how much work it takes to maintain that! Due to these quirks of my personality, you can probably imagine how difficult aspects of the COVID epidemic have been for me! Working from home, overseeing my children’s education and all the other changes and adjustments have been a challenge. Now we’re 18 months in and transitioning back to the office and school! Some of you, like my husband, may thrive on change and adventure so this is easy for you! But if you are like me and struggle with it, I would like to offer a few tips to navigate! By Abby Glaser It’s hard to believe we’re nearing a year of life in a pandemic! What started for many of us as a temporary adjustment has become a new way of life. This is especially evident in the distribution of labor for many couples with children! With our children doing virtual school, I became responsible for overseeing the education of our children while trying to work from home. I began to burn out quickly, lashing out in frustration at everyone in our household. I wasn’t alone in that. Research shows that women are three times as likely to report suffering from significant mental health consequences due to covid. Women also account for 80% of those who have left the workforce in the past year. We quickly realized that how we had always done things wasn’t going to work and we had to start from scratch in the division of labor. Here are a couple of ways we have done that!
By Abby Glaser “It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”
The holiday season is upon us after a monumental year! You may be looking forward to the holiday or you may be dreading it. You might even be feeling a little bit of both! Nothing has been typical about 2020 and that includes how we will all celebrate the holiday season. For many, holidays can bring stress, anxiety or loneliness. After a crazy year you might be unsure how to navigate this season. Here are five tips to help your days be merry and bright! By Lavern Nissley
There is something good and infectious about a good laugh. The other day, on Ronda's birthday, we had a brief exchange that led us both to laughter. Me: "I think you look good in your birthday suit." Ronda: "It has wrinkles." Me: "But it looks good on you." Ronda: "I guess it still fits." While intuitively it would seem that "laughter is the best medicine", there are some interesting findings on how it affects romantic and marriage relationships. By Grant Edwards
(Grant is senior pastor of Fellowship Church in Springfield. He's given us permission to include his reflections and suggestions from scripture and personal experience. Insomnia can affect relationships by making us more irritable and insensitive with each other!) Too many of us can't sleep. It’s so frustrating -- 3 AM and wide awake. Then 6 AM and you fall asleep with the alarm sounding at 7 AM. Someone then remarks, "You look like something that the cat dragged in from a night of prowling." We want to call down fire from heaven on them! When things in the workplace get stressful and emotions run high, it's good to push the "pause button" with a simple tip shared by this restaurant manager. Colonel Ragland is the manager of Lee's Famous Recipe on South Limestone in Springfield OH. He shares a tip he acquired during Relationship Skills Coaching. |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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