By Jenny Hamilton Maintaining a lifestyle of eating healthy food and exercising regularly we all know is good for us. However, it probably ranks #1 as the most common daily battle we regularly wage with the “easy to say, hard to do” things in life. We make excuses constantly for why we didn’t stick with our workout plans or diets. We do the same when tending to our relationships. Healthy relationships are like gold! They are what keep us going--mentally, emotionally and even physically. Yet often, to our own detriment, we believe things that are not true -- and we make excuses. Have you ever told yourself this?
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By Lisa Carnegis After 23 years of marriage (31 if you count dating), you’d think we’d be experts at relationships. At least that’s what we thought.
For the majority of our marriage, our communication with one another suffered. This was long enough for patterns and habits to set in. By Kermit Rowe A recent daily email for married couples from legendary marriage ministry FamilyLife called “I Do Every Day” posed a question that caught my attention. It asked: “How good are you at listening to your spouse?”
Huh? (just kidding, LOL) Seriously, if we’re honest, most of us would answer that question by grading how good we think we are at listening to our other half. And our answer would probably be more favorable than the actual truth. The truth is that listening to our spouse is hard work, and the more we put into it the more we will get back. Getting in the way is our overbearing desire to be heard, to a point where it drowns out what our spouse is saying while we are focused on formulating what we are going to say next. The fix? The power of the extra question! By Kermit Rowe I like to call it “The Flip.” It is as unnatural as it is powerful. But if a couple can make “The Flip,” then the future growth of their relationship and happiness takes an upward trajectory.
What I am speaking of is a change of focus in our relationship. If we are honest, when we enter a relationship with a significant other, we do so with the expectation that this person will make us happier in our life. We love them, but a big component of that love often is how that person makes us feel. But what if we changed our approach, turning to a divine truth to transform our relationship and home? By Lavern Nissley
That's right. Just stop talking. Not for good, but to give others a chance to talk and for you to learn. All of us, unless we're extremely shy and/or very un-talkative by nature, could do well by consciously condensing. By Lavern Nissley
In March, 1990 Ronda and I attended a life-changing marriage conference. Among the many takeaways was the encouragement to pray together daily while fostering a sense of "oneness" in our marriage. Wow! So glad we attended that conference and for the refreshment those daily connections has brought. In 2007, as we were developing The RINGS Experience for couples, a simple tool came to our hearts that could possibly help couples implement what we had found so meaningful in our marriage. Want to know what the tool is (and watch a brief video demo)? By Lavern Nissley
Recently I was asked the question: "So what piece of advice would you give to anyone across the board in any relationship? Is there something that fits for anyone in any relationship?" While I'm not usually one to propose "one size fits all" responses, here's how I answered the question. By Lavern Nissley
If you've ever been in the presence of a masterful listener you feel quite different than when someone is preoccupied with talking about themselves. Is there anything we can do to listen better? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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