What I miss about my Dad

Lavern with his Dad, David Nissley, June 21, 2020

Our blog posts in June will focus on reflections surrounding fathers, fatherhood, and their influence in our lives.

By Lavern Nissley
Relationship facilitator

My Dad died November 12, 2021. His birthday is coming up the end of this week, June 8. And Father's Day is about a week later. Although Dad was one of the most challenging relationships in my life given his patterns of anger, agitation, and anxiety, I also have more positive memories.

​Here is a heartfelt letter to my Dad, David Nissley.

Dear Dad:

It's been about 2 1/2 years since you passed. Hopefully, you and Mom are enjoying your new home and reuniting with love ones. Your earthly birthday is coming up, and I remember several times since you moved from Illinois to Springfield that you and I had some quality times on your birthday. Taking some lawn chairs over to the reservoir with coffee or some carry out food. I miss those peaceful times of being outside with you and asking you questions about your growing up years.

We still have items here in our home that you made in your little woodworking shop back in Arthur, Illinois. You had an amazing ability to create wooden bowls, checkerboards, checkers and chess pieces, marble rollers, clocks, and more. I miss seeing the smile on your face as you completed an item and introduced it to me.

In our back yard - the condo where you and Mom lived for 3-5 years - there are 3 feral cats that we've watched grow up from kittenhood. We named them Charcoal, Calico, and Midnight. It seems that they have adopted us as their humans, likely because we keep feeding them. They remind me of your countless conversations with animals of all kinds. Its something you must have passed down to your 3 kids, because we all find great therapeutic value in connecting with animals. I miss hearing your chatter with animals we grew up with.
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When you could still see, before macular degeneration made it difficult for you to read, you often would be sitting in a chair reading your Bible. When that became more challenging you acquired a reading machine with tapes to listen to, not just the Bible, but other books as well. Often it raised questions for you, and you would ask me what I thought. I miss the Q and A exchanges on topics I may never have explored myself.

Our son, Josh, who shares a birthday with you, is now a dad himself to Charlotte (almost 6), Madelaine (4), and Sebastian (almost 2). We're proud of the tremendous love and commitment he has to his wife, Emily, and his children. Your kids meant a lot to you, and we often saw expressions of fondness you had with Mom. I miss seeing your playfulness in teasing Mom and expressing warmth to the children you raised together.

I could go on, but this is supposed to be a 2-minute read!😊

Happy birthday and Happy Father's Day!

Love,
Lavern