 By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator It really doesn’t make sense, does it? Couples will spend $10,000+ and a year or more planning their wedding but spend nothing to prepare for their marriage. This could be a dangerous and potentially destructive oversight. For this reason, from the start of our organization (in 2005) we asked local pastors to sign a pledge that they would not marry a couple unless they had premarital counseling or coaching. We, and many area pastors as it turns out, feel it is THAT important! So, as we dive deep into our theme of preparation for this month, looking at the advantages of premarital counseling and coaching is as natural for us as it is foundational.
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 By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director Darnell and Bekah came to walk through the RINGS Experience education and coaching, having been married for 12 1/2 years and being parents of 4 active young boys. Their online relationship assessment was average with some areas like connection, intimacy, stress responses, and conflict resolution way below average and needing significant skill-building. Their weekly preparation, or "homework", and then meeting with a certified coach helped them grow in understanding their relationship deficits, but more importantly, to learn skills and tools to enhance their sense of "US". One skill, the RINGS Chat, made quite a difference as they began doing it daily to share feelings, intentions/information, needs, gratitude, and dreams for the future." This is what I have so been so hungry for," she remarked the week after learning the RINGS Chat. "We feel as close as we have ever felt after 12 years of marriage." And Darnell is meeting her love languages of gifts and affirmation with little notes all over the house. And the boys are seeing the notes and getting in on the excitement. Responding to the RINGS Experience final evaluation, Bekah commented about the personal impact: "I want to experience life to the fullest with my husband now and to try new things with him. I feel like I have grown so much as an individual through this experience." Darnell commented about the SOS conflict resolution tool: "We both need a tool to be able to share our feelings in a safe and productive way and this has provided that."In their final session, both observed that as they reviewed major stressors in their lives, "For the first time in many, many years our marriage relationship was not on the list!" At Encompass we celebrate the wonderful transformation experienced by this couple and that their "family tree has been forever changed." If you’re looking for guidance and growth in your relationship or parenting abilities, get in touch with a knowledgeable and sincere advocate or coach at Encompass Connection center by following the links below.  By: Cindee Johnson, Encompass Relationship Coach
Chatting recently with a new bride, she was in awe to learn my husband and I are celebrating this month our 33rd anniversary. “Wow, 33 years! What’s your secret?” she asked. If you have been married for any length of time, how would you respond to that newlywed’s question? Is the secret simply falling in love? Is it compromise? Having patience? Saying you’re sorry? Showing respect? Appreciating each other? Offering forgiveness? Laughing together?  By: Ronda Nissley Encompass Connection Center Co-Director Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty – Anne Herbert, 1982
I am one of those people that can become so focused on my calendar and my “to do” list that I lose sight of other people as human beings. After all, I have important things to do and deadlines to meet. Please don’t get in my way or slow me down! I am constantly at war with time. It’s easy for me to become impatient with others that don’t fulfill my expectations.  Ahhhh, February- a month of ROMANCE. Each week in February we're discussing the seasons of romance in marriage. After visiting the pre-marital, honeymoon, "with kids at home," and empty nest seasons, this week we're ready to find out what happens romantically in the golden years. By Lavern Nissley
Executive director of Encompass Connection Center This may come as a surprise, but it IS possible to experience romance in marriage after age 60. It's certainly different from romance in the early years of marriage where it doesn't take much for things to get hot and steamy. Perhaps a metaphor would be appropriate. Young married romance is like a microwave, while senior adult married romance is more like a crockpot. Both can bring about tasty edibles, but the latter is a more deliberate, extended process. It's the latter of these two metaphors we want to dive into. How can you keep love alive after decades together as a couple and as your physical energy and health levels decline? Are there ways to grow in body/soul/spirit attractiveness as we age?  By: Hollie Kowalski, Outreach Coordinator Welcome to February- a month of ROMANCE! Each week in February we’ll be sharing about the seasons of romance in marriage. Today we’ll visit the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons. Next week we’ll talk about romance with children at home. The following week will be for the empty nesters and finally we’ll finish with the golden years. ❤Romance in the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons:
My husband Joe and I have been married for almost 19 wonderful years, so I’ll have to think back a few years to remember that glorious stage of euphoria that was our dating life. To sum up the two years that we dated, I would use words such as: butterflies, excitement, security, preoccupation, infatuation, insecurity, anxiety (the good kind,) and you guessed it- ROMANCE!  Each week in November we'll be sharing stories from grateful couples who have seen their family trees forever changed through growing in relationship skills. This week we hear from Daniel & Sarah, participants in the RINGS Experience course for couples.
 The Encompass Outreach Group is going through a blog series on the 5 Love Languages! For our last week, in this series we're excited to hear from Kristen Davis on gift giving. By: Kristen Davis Gift giving is one of my love languages. I typically don’t like telling people this because it can be assumed that receiving gifts is just as important to me. Well, as much as I do enjoy receiving a gift, I’d much rather bless another person. It is, after all, much better to give than receive. I am blessed to be a blessing, and this ultimately fuels my gift giving.
 The Encompass Outreach Group is going through a blog series on the 5 Love Languages! Over the next few weeks we will be focusing on different love languages, the impact they have on our lives, and how we can fill others' "love tanks!" By: Lavern Nissley There is an all too familiar Physical Touch occurrence of something Ronda, my wife, does in our bedroom that usually takes my breath away. It begins with my awareness that she is slowly moving in my direction. Suddenly, her cold feet make contact with me, and I experience an "ice bucket challenge" moment. She knows that my love language is Physical Touch but doesn't seem to understand "not THAT kind of touch!"
 The Encompass Outreach Group is going through a blog series on the 5 Love Languages! Over the next few weeks we will be focusing on different love languages, the impact they have on our lives, and how we can fill others' "love tanks!" By Abby Glaser (Client Advocate) In case you didn’t notice from the title… my primary love language is quality time! I feel most loved by spending time with others. Ironically, I am also an introvert so spending too much time with others is draining for me emotionally! Because of those two conflicting qualities I would like to offer a few tips on how to best love someone with quality time!
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HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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Funding is provided by Clark County Job and Family Services, The Turner Foundation, Springfield Foundation, Buckeye Health, private donations and fees.
Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
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Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217