By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director (Our March blog posts are featuring elements related to preparation. Thanks to Jerrod and Ashley Evans for sharing how they have been prepared through an Encompass resource.) This past Monday I received an "out-of-the-blue" email from a couple who had taken the RINGS course and coaching two years ago. They are approaching their 15th anniversary, and their sense of confidence for their marriage to go the distance has greatly increased. I'd love to have them speak for themselves on the impact, particularly of how the tools and skills acquired in RINGS are affecting them two years later.
0 Comments
By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director Darnell and Bekah came to walk through the RINGS Experience education and coaching, having been married for 12 1/2 years and being parents of 4 active young boys. Their online relationship assessment was average with some areas like connection, intimacy, stress responses, and conflict resolution way below average and needing significant skill-building. Their weekly preparation, or "homework", and then meeting with a certified coach helped them grow in understanding their relationship deficits, but more importantly, to learn skills and tools to enhance their sense of "US". One skill, the RINGS Chat, made quite a difference as they began doing it daily to share feelings, intentions/information, needs, gratitude, and dreams for the future." This is what I have so been so hungry for," she remarked the week after learning the RINGS Chat. "We feel as close as we have ever felt after 12 years of marriage." And Darnell is meeting her love languages of gifts and affirmation with little notes all over the house. And the boys are seeing the notes and getting in on the excitement. Responding to the RINGS Experience final evaluation, Bekah commented about the personal impact: "I want to experience life to the fullest with my husband now and to try new things with him. I feel like I have grown so much as an individual through this experience." Darnell commented about the SOS conflict resolution tool: "We both need a tool to be able to share our feelings in a safe and productive way and this has provided that."In their final session, both observed that as they reviewed major stressors in their lives, "For the first time in many, many years our marriage relationship was not on the list!" At Encompass we celebrate the wonderful transformation experienced by this couple and that their "family tree has been forever changed." If you’re looking for guidance and growth in your relationship or parenting abilities, get in touch with a knowledgeable and sincere advocate or coach at Encompass Connection center by following the links below. By Ronda Nissley
Encompass Co-director By now, you may have heard the term “quiet quitting” in relationship to employment. If you haven’t, this is when an employee decides to do “just enough to get by” – no extra effort, no striving for excellence, and no emotional buy-in to the mission and purpose of their employer. This is justified by our desire for work/life balance and the sense that we don’t owe our employer anything but to do the job we’ve been hired to do. Personally, I’m very curious how this will work long-term – for the employee as well as the employer. Video featuring Drew and Sarah Brown
RINGS Experience course and coaching participants Drew and Sarah have full lives with 6 young children. They face the daily challenge of making quality time for each other. While going through the RINGS Experience course they acquired a valuable connection tool, the RINGS Chat. But implementing it into their busy schedule was tough. And tiring. But they adapted and adjusted to make it work given their context. The result: A potent legacy of a healthy marriage to pass along to each of their six children. Watch their story in a 3 minute video. By Lavern Nissley
Executive Director of Encompass Connection Center Most of us go through at least four daily opportunities for connection with our partner and/or children. Dr. Linda Duncan found in her research that there are four times of the day when a few minutes of positive effort to connect can influence a positive or negative outcome for the day. Want to know when they occur? Ahhhh, February- a month of ROMANCE. Each week in February we're discussing the seasons of romance in marriage. After visiting the pre-marital, honeymoon, "with kids at home," and empty nest seasons, this week we're ready to find out what happens romantically in the golden years. By Lavern Nissley
Executive director of Encompass Connection Center This may come as a surprise, but it IS possible to experience romance in marriage after age 60. It's certainly different from romance in the early years of marriage where it doesn't take much for things to get hot and steamy. Perhaps a metaphor would be appropriate. Young married romance is like a microwave, while senior adult married romance is more like a crockpot. Both can bring about tasty edibles, but the latter is a more deliberate, extended process. It's the latter of these two metaphors we want to dive into. How can you keep love alive after decades together as a couple and as your physical energy and health levels decline? Are there ways to grow in body/soul/spirit attractiveness as we age? Each week in November we'll be sharing stories from grateful couples who have seen their family trees forever changed through growing in relationship skills. This week we hear from Daniel & Sarah, participants in the RINGS Experience course for couples.
By Kermit Rowe, Relationship Facilitator The struggle is real. It can also be embarrassing … and convicting!
I thought the struggle my wife and I have with praying together consistently made us an exception. But talking with and coaching other couples here at Encompass Connection Center, I’ve discovered that those who often fail to pray together consistently may be of the majority. It’s also revealing that couples I work with who struggle overall in their relationships also have not been praying together. By Lavern Nissley In early October of 2020 as a client couple was wrapping up the final session in the RINGS course, the husband asked an intriguing question: "Do you have a RINGS quick reference guide to help us remember all of the skills and insights we've learned. We don't want to forget what we've just completed."
"What a great idea!" I responded. Since its launch in May, 2007, RINGS has been experienced by thousands of couples. And this was the first time such a request had ever been voiced. What could we develop for completing couples to post on their refrigerators or bathroom mirrors? What you'll see below is the final outcome - with much appreciation to Joe Candio for the initial idea. (Steve and Sara completed the newly updated RINGS Experience Online with coaching in September, 2020)
We have been married for over 21 years. But we weren’t happily married. We had previously sought marital counseling, but that didn’t really help us to identify and acknowledge our strength and growth areas. And it certainly didn’t equip us with the understanding and skills to be more effective in our communication. We had a covenantal marriage, a promise to each other for better or worse. But life in the “worse” was not sustainable for us or our family. |
HostsDr. David Marine and Theresa Mabry are Co-Directors of Encompass since June 1, 2024. TOPICS
All
Archives
November 2024
|