 By Kermit Rowe Encompass Relationship Facilitator The kids are long gone, living their own busy lives. The grandkids are getting older, not so cuddly and openly loving as they used to be. Medicare and retirement loom, and with them, big questions and concerns you never had to think much about before. You begin to face sobering and heart-heavy questions together when your marriage hits and passes the three-decade mark, like:
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 By Lavern Nissley Encompass Relationship Facilitator For many couples, the empty nest years arrive quietly—and then all at once. One day, your home is filled with backpacks, curfews, and constant motion; the next, the house is still, the calendar is open, and you and your spouse find yourselves looking at each other across the table, wondering, “So… now what?”
I distinctly remember walking past the three large graduation portraits of our two daughters and son after the youngest child had left home via a wedding. The thought hit me that "we would never be going back to the way things were with all three children under our roof and care." The sense of loss and sadness was real and generated a few tears. The transition into the middle years of marriage, especially as children launch into adulthood, can feel bittersweet. It’s a season of letting go, but also a season of uncovering what has been waiting beneath the surface all along: the opportunity to rediscover each other.  By Ruthanna Powell Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner When I asked Chuck and Gale Poole how they’ve managed to stay married for 50 years, Chuck laughed and said, “When the kids were home and I was upset, I could talk to them. After they left, I talked to the dog. Then the dog died—and we had to learn to communicate!”
That bit of humor sums up a lot about Chuck and Gale. Their relationship is real, resilient, and rooted in faith. As they look back on their golden anniversary, they shared what has carried them through five decades of marriage.  By Cindee Johnson Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner Our wedding was just a couple of months away. I was a divorced, single mom of two young children. Dave had never been married and had no children of his own. My kids bonded so well with him, and he fully supported my commitment to keeping their relationship strong with their birth father.
One relaxing Friday evening in August 1989, while talking over dinner about our upcoming marriage, the subject of date nights came up. I wondered out loud, “Will we still do evenings like this once we’re married?” “Why, yes, we will.” And yes, we have. And yes, we still do--nearly 36 years later as empty nesters. At the time, we had no idea how meaningful that decision would become.  By Lavern and Ronda Nissley Team Nissley Coaching & Consulting A surge of sadness and loss went through me the first time I (Lavern) saw my Dad walking more slowly and hunched over. He had always been active and a rather fast walker. Now he looked like an old man. Fortunately, this image of Dad didn't catch us off guard since we had numerous discussions with Mom and Dad about this stage of life. But it still hit me to see such a vivid picture of irreversible aging.
In 2018, after months of Ronda visiting her parents weekly in London, Ohio (about 45 minutes from our home in Springfield), we arrived at the mutual decision to relocate them to Wooded Glen, a long-term care facility in Springfield. In 2019, we did the same for Lavern's parents, moving them from Arthur, Illinois, to a condo in Springfield. These decisions were fully processed with respective parents and siblings, with the idea that the two of us would take the lead in helping our parents navigate their twilight years. Only one of those four parents is still living. Lavern's Dad passed in November 2021, his Mom in March 2023, and Ronda's Mom in September 2023. Ronda's Dad is approaching his 95th birthday on August 17. So, how did this all work out? How were relationships affected? What did we learn about the initiative to care for our aging parents?  By Encompass Outreach Group When you get married, you get your first experience of having in-laws with your partner’s parents. This can often be a time filled with frustration and complications. However, once you have children and they grow up, get married, and have families of their own, you suddenly become the mother-in-law or father-in-law that you once had to deal with. Here’s how to be a good in-law when your child has a family of their own:
 By Ellen Dudney
(Ellen served with the Pregnancy Resource Clinic in Springfield from 2008 through 2018, beginning as a Nurse Manager, then leading as Executive Director from 2011-2018.) Yes, Virginia, there is life after the working! I do not like the word “retirement”. It focuses on things ending, but it says nothing about the future. And, it makes me sound old – which I most certainly am not! How about if we call it “transition” instead. After all, I’m still the same person, with the same skills, interests, and passions – I’ll just be pursuing these in a different way, as will you. |
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HostsDr. David Marine and Theresa Mabry are Co-Directors of Encompass since June 1, 2024. TOPICS
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Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
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Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217