 By Lavern Nissley
Ronda got the results of her 23andMe DNA Genetic Testing & Analysis last week. I was quite amused at the text she sent me indicating a genetic trait she apparently has calledmisophonia. It refers to something she is predisposed to disliking intensely. Definitely NOT a surprise to either of us! In fact, she has communicated this intense dislike to me at least a dozen times in our 40 years of marriage. And I always thought that she was over-reacting. Until now. From here on everything changes!
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 Credit to Mary Ann Shillinger, Pinterest pin By Lavern Nissley
Before Abraham Lincoln became President in 1861 he gave a memorable speech that came to be known as "House Divided". It was essentially a no compromise speech attacking the possibility of a half slave, half free United States. "A house divided against itself cannot stand", Lincoln proclaimed as he quoted Jesus' words centuries earlier. In the aftermath of two horrible mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton polarization and escalation have increased between left and right. I wonder what President Lincoln would say about today's political landscape. Certainly there are issues that divide Americans at a level that slavery did in the 1800's. (See optional extra reading at end of blog for more texture on this.)  By Lavern Nissley
The "Send her back" chant that erupted at President Trump's rally in North Carolina last week touched nerves everywhere. It singled out a congresswoman from Minnesota, an immigrant from Somalia and US citizen. Her views have been particularly troubling to conservatives as well as to some colleagues in her own party. The ping pong match of acerbic tweets and public comments between Trump and "The Squad" of four congresswomen (close allies of the chant target) seemed to boil over into newscasts, social media discussions and private conversations. Maybe that's why we had such hot weather in most of the USA last week? What can we learn from such intense political polarization and flame-throwing that could help us in our couple, family and organizational relationships?  By Lavern Nissley
Whenever two or more people come together for any purpose, goal or objective, there is potential for things going horribly wrong or incredibly well, with plenty of intermediate options. Most of us have experienced both ends of this social emotionally laden continuum. What is it that influences one outcome or the other? Mathematician and relationship researcher John Gottman has developed 4 predictors of marriage failure and 4 predictors of marriage success based upon his observation of hundreds of couples. Want to know what they are?  By Lavern Nissley
As we head into the holidays and spend time with families and friends, many will experience fond memories and heartfelt joy. Others will experience the opposite, becoming acutely reminded of relationship dysfunctions. Many of us experience some of each. So, how do you cope effectively in the middle of this seasonal insanity? Those emotional allergies and buttons have a physiological affect, don't they? Increased heart rate and breathing. Blood pressure pounding away at your skull. Stomach churning and knots forming. Help!!! What to do?  Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash By Lavern Nissley
You've likely heard of the Bermuda Triangle, a region in the western Atlantic Ocean where a number of ships and aircraft have disappeared mysteriously. Not surprisingly, it's also called the Devil's Triangle. Less familiar to most people is the Dreaded Drama Triangle, a social model of human interaction, especially when conflict is involved. It's as ominous and scary as the Bermuda Triangle. Want to know why? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. 
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