Our posts during June will feature the themes of Fathers, Father's Day, Leaders/Leadership.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director My Dad would have turned 90 tomorrow, June 8. Although much of my experience of him as a father included spillovers from his own unhealed and unresolved childhood (anger, anxiety, agitation), I still miss him and acknowledge positive takeaways from his life. He passed November 12, 2021 and is buried in Arcola, Illinois at the Sunnyside Mennonite Church cemetery. Mom was buried in the same plot earlier this year after her death March 6. Some of the content you'll see in this post is drawn from A Tribute to Our Dad that Ken, Karen, and I shared at his funeral. But his legacy and impact are anything but buried. In some quirky and interesting ways they live on both in and through me.
0 Comments
By: Hollie Kowalski
Outreach Coordinator Parenting a teenager is no small feat. We have four children, currently three teenagers. Nothing will send me to my knees in prayer quicker than my kids! Through the chaos, the conflict, the blessings, and the battles, I must keep reminding myself: God is in control. My husband Joe is a logical, levelheaded parent with much patience. I, on the other hand… well, I like to say I’m a very “passionate,” person, especially when it comes to my kids. Joe would interpret this as emotional and easily excitable, but also a “pro” when it comes to loving on, caring for, and guiding our children. Together, we make a pretty great team, but even the very best parents don’t always have the answers. So when we’ve been consistent, loving, patient, supportive, good role models (most of the time…) and we’ve “chosen our battles carefully,” where do we turn when one of our children comes to us with anger and insecurity that won’t subside, or when one of them just wants to give up due to the fear of imperfection, or there is an undeniable ache from a loss or a badly broken heart from “the one they thought they’d marry?” By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate Spring is a time for new birth and new growth…and at the Encompass office it’s a time when we start getting calls from engaged couples preparing for their weddings! After fielding one of those calls recently I found myself thinking about what things I wish I would have been told before getting married. There were many misconceptions my husband and I had that we quickly found out were wrong! After 25 years together, I can confidently debunk the following ones! By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director The term "new" sparks different responses, doesn't it? For some, "new" is associated with a freshly purchased item that is going to make life soooo very much better. For others, "new" is something that requires major adapting to yet another change. Which are you? And how can you best navigate the two sides of new? By: Cindee Johnson, Relationship Coach
Are you making those holiday lists and checking them twice? What do you gift the kids? Your spouse? Friends? Family? All. Those. Lists. Yes, we are in the midst of the greatest gift-giving season of the year. Also, the most stressful... By Lavern Nissley
Encompass executive director In December our blog post themes center around the words "present" and/or "presence." Have you ever wondered what a movie or a series of your life would look like? We watched and enjoyed "The Crown" series about the life of Queen Elizabeth. Someone has remarked that a person's life is the "dash" on the gravestone between the birth and death dates. Sobering. Our daughter, Kristen, gave Ronda and me an interesting gift subscription to Storyworth about a year ago. Here's the big idea behind Storyworth: Everyone has a story worth sharing. Preserve meaningful moments and memories in a beautiful keepsake book. Then, share the experience with loved ones and discover stories you never knew. I'd like to share my own experience of responding to 50+ questions the past year (one per week) and how it affected me. I hope my children and grandchildren will find it meaningful. Testimonial by Thaddeus & Sara Williams
RINGS course & coaching participants This one-minute to-the-point testimonial contains 2 valuable takeaways they have that make marriage satisfying. See if you can catch them. By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator
A day in the life of the Kowalskis: 7-8a drop kids off at school (two different schools) -38 min drive- 9a-2p work -35 min drive- 2:45p pick Josie up from school, -35 min drive- 3:30p pick Dom up from school, drop him at home; Josie change clothes -25 min drive- 5p drop Josie off at rowing (use carpool for pickup) -55 min drive- 7:30p Isaiah's soccer game -55 min drive- 9:30-10:45p Homework, showers, and finally... bedtime This is a fairly typical week night schedule for our family. It makes me cranky just planning it, but this is what families "do" now right? This is the new "normal." But how is this new normal affecting our families? By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
Another Mother’s Day has come and gone. The relationship between a mother and her children has been widely heralded and celebrated, and deservedly so. The women who were divinely chosen to be our gateway into this world are the glue that helps hold our families and nation together. However, if that parent-child relationship supersedes the husband-wife relationship, trouble in the family usually follows. Picking your spouse over your kids is increasingly becoming unpopular advice as the country increasingly turns away from God and His ways. However, not making that choice goes against the priorities God set up for all marriages. His order of priority when things get unclear: God first, your spouse second, the kids third. This doesn’t mean that you love your children less. God forbid! But when we decide to accept God’s gift of holy matrimony with the love of our life, we are expected to live our married lives in His holy ways. There’s a reason “forsaking all others” is part of the traditional wedding vows. All means all if push comes to shove. Why is it important to choose your spouse over your kids if you must pick one over the other? Here are just four of the myriads of reasons: By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate Can you feel it? The days are getting longer. The temperatures outside are getting warmer. Spring is in the air, and spring is the season for fresh starts. Even parents need a fresh start sometimes... Every time I sit down to write a blog post on parenting or begin teaching a parenting class I always feel the need to clarify that I’m not an expert. Most people already know this but you’d be surprised at how many think mother of five children equals expert! One of the interesting things about my current stage in life is that I now have two adult children living out of my house and three still at home. So I’m starting to hear from the older kids areas they feel I could have done better and I have the opportunity to make some of those changes now with the younger kids. While my big kids will often lament about how differently we parent their younger siblings, my response is always of course! Just like them, their dad and I are always growing and evolving and trying to do a little better than we did before. In some ways one of the gifts of having multiple children that span a ten-year age gap is that we get ongoing chances to pivot and do better. I often hear from parents in coaching that they feel stuck or in a rut with their kids, especially teenagers. I’d like to offer a few ways to pursue a fresh start! |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
All
Archives
September 2023
|