 By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate Spring is a time for new birth and new growth…and at the Encompass office it’s a time when we start getting calls from engaged couples preparing for their weddings! After fielding one of those calls recently I found myself thinking about what things I wish I would have been told before getting married. There were many misconceptions my husband and I had that we quickly found out were wrong! After 25 years together, I can confidently debunk the following ones!  By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director Darnell and Bekah came to walk through the RINGS Experience education and coaching, having been married for 12 1/2 years and being parents of 4 active young boys. Their online relationship assessment was average with some areas like connection, intimacy, stress responses, and conflict resolution way below average and needing significant skill-building. Their weekly preparation, or "homework", and then meeting with a certified coach helped them grow in understanding their relationship deficits, but more importantly, to learn skills and tools to enhance their sense of "US". One skill, the RINGS Chat, made quite a difference as they began doing it daily to share feelings, intentions/information, needs, gratitude, and dreams for the future." This is what I have so been so hungry for," she remarked the week after learning the RINGS Chat. "We feel as close as we have ever felt after 12 years of marriage." And Darnell is meeting her love languages of gifts and affirmation with little notes all over the house. And the boys are seeing the notes and getting in on the excitement. Responding to the RINGS Experience final evaluation, Bekah commented about the personal impact: "I want to experience life to the fullest with my husband now and to try new things with him. I feel like I have grown so much as an individual through this experience." Darnell commented about the SOS conflict resolution tool: "We both need a tool to be able to share our feelings in a safe and productive way and this has provided that."In their final session, both observed that as they reviewed major stressors in their lives, "For the first time in many, many years our marriage relationship was not on the list!" At Encompass we celebrate the wonderful transformation experienced by this couple and that their "family tree has been forever changed." If you’re looking for guidance and growth in your relationship or parenting abilities, get in touch with a knowledgeable and sincere advocate or coach at Encompass Connection center by following the links below.  By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator As we transition into this new year, a question has been on my mind: Did I make the most of my marriage in 2022? It’s not a question for the faint of heart. It’s an examining question, a difficult question, and it leads to another question: Will I be honest enough with myself about this question?  By: Cindee Johnson, Encompass Relationship Coach
Chatting recently with a new bride, she was in awe to learn my husband and I are celebrating this month our 33rd anniversary. “Wow, 33 years! What’s your secret?” she asked. If you have been married for any length of time, how would you respond to that newlywed’s question? Is the secret simply falling in love? Is it compromise? Having patience? Saying you’re sorry? Showing respect? Appreciating each other? Offering forgiveness? Laughing together?  By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
Time and time again, I sit in the coaching rooms of Encompass Connection Center as one of its relationship facilitators and work with struggling couples who find themselves wondering: “How did we ever get here?” No one gets married to get divorced. One chooses “to become one” with another human being with the belief that life together with our perceived soulmate will be much better than without them. Yet the stresses of life, inevitable mistakes by both spouses and poor communication habits erode their relationship and weaken their love. How do they get back to where they started their holy matrimony?  By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director If you wanted to improve your golf swing or baking skills, you would likely seek quite a different avenue of professional expertise than if you had just suffered a compound fracture.
Relationships and marriages have these same two dimensions of expertise: one is more focused upon healing and therapy, the other upon learning and implementing skills. Let’s dive in and see how these fit together.  By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate
A few weeks ago our executive director shared lots of great tips on staying connected with your partner. Hopefully you found some valuable information there! You may have come away from it wondering how you became so disconnected in the first place? There are lots of reasons couples might find themselves disconnected from life stressors to internal struggles that aren’t being addressed. I would like to share with you what that path to disconnection* often looks like and what you can do to turn the tide!  By: Ronda Nissley Encompass Connection Center Co-Director Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty – Anne Herbert, 1982
I am one of those people that can become so focused on my calendar and my “to do” list that I lose sight of other people as human beings. After all, I have important things to do and deadlines to meet. Please don’t get in my way or slow me down! I am constantly at war with time. It’s easy for me to become impatient with others that don’t fulfill my expectations.  By: Ronda Nissley, Co Director Ahhhh, February- a month of ROMANCE. Each week in February we're discussing the seasons of romance in marriage. After visiting the pre-marital, honeymoon, and "with kids at home," seasons, this week we're ready to find out what happens romantically after the kids leave home! Next week, we’ll finish with the golden years. Romance…. When the kids leave home
We’ve seen it many times. Kids go off to college, they move out and start their own lives. What was once a flurry of daily activity that centered around the children has now ceased. The days of shuttling kids to school; attending sporting events; washing mountains of laundry; re-stocking the refrigerator and pantry (daily); de-cluttering dropped book bags and coaching our children through life’s challenges eventually do come to an end. Suddenly, parents find themselves alone again with the realization that they hardly know, let alone like their partner anymore. It doesn’t have to be that way!  By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator Ahhh February- a month of ROMANCE! Each week in February we’ll be sharing about the seasons of romance in marriage. Last week we visited the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons. This week we’ll talk about romance while the children are at home. Next week will be for the empty nesters and finally we’ll finish with the golden years. Parent or romantic partner … which comes first? What is the most challenging time in a marriage? When the honeymoon is over. The trick of course is to be able to keep the honeymoon attitude alive. But no matter how romantic the two are, that comes to a screeching halt when the two who became one, turn around and become two again, and three, and four, and … well, you get the picture. There are a lot of challenging ‘hoods out there, but none more challenging than parenthood. My wife and I, and some of you I’m sure, have been there and done that. Our nest is empty, and we don’t mind at all (most of the time). But many of you homemakers are in the eye of the storm, and those winds can howl. As an Encompass relationship facilitator and pastor, I’m constantly seeing the shrapnel produced by kid-induced, divisive war on the home front. It is heartbreaking as it is home-wrecking! |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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Funding is provided by Clark County Job and Family Services, The Turner Foundation, Springfield Foundation, Buckeye Health, private donations and fees.
Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217
Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217