September's theme for our social media and blog posts is devotion/faithfulness. Kermit Rowe, one of our Relationship Facilitators shares about the skills needed for a lasting marriage, that many times are in short supply.
Devotion and faithfulness seem to be in short supply in our culture these days. So, when you see these two qualities alive and well in a lasting marriage, you’ve got to wonder what that couple has that about 50 percent of the couples who enter into holy matrimony don’t.
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By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate When our Outreach Coordinator told me this month’s topic is devotion and faithfulness…my first thought was that I didn’t have anything to say on that topic! Which is ironic since I have been with my husband for 25 years now. I suppose I do know a thing or two! While the definition of devotion includes love and loyalty, which is what most think of when they hear that word, it also includes “enthusiasm!" That definitely got my brain thinking… when was the last time I expressed enthusiasm for my partner? By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach & Event Coordinator There is a reason the phrase “for richer or poorer” is included in the marriage vows. Money is the second leading cause of divorce (behind infidelity.) Regardless of how much you love your spouse, money can be a major source of frustration and contention in a relationship… especially when you love to shop and OH, HOW I LOVE TO SHOP! I love it even more when there is a good deal to be had! I mean who can resist a “like new” accent chair in the exact color of the living room for HALF the original price? (Not me.) My dopamine receptors go crazy when I click that Marketplace tab and find aaaall the things! My easy-going husband is so good to me. He loves to hear excitement in my voice. So, when I start to talk about all the great deals I’ve found during the week on Marketplace, it’s cute and makes him giggle… until it doesn’t. When it’s time to get serious about saving money, I steer clear of the Marketplace tab. Here are a few suggestions that you might find helpful as I have, when I am trying to save money: By Kermit Rowe Encompass Relationship Facilitator More than half my life was spent as a sports journalist, a life that is now in the rearview mirror. But I continue to see valuable corollaries between the games of the sports world and the game of life. In my last four years as an Encompass Connection Center relationship coach, the similarities are even more glaring – especially in realm of committed couple relationships. By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator If you are looking for objective, empirical evidence that physical fitness leads to marital happiness and endurance, you’ll be looking long and hard. There just isn’t much out there. But observation and personal experience offer plenty of evidence that it does. Focus On The Family, one of the preeminent marriage ministries of the 20th and 21st centuries, offers this in a recent article: “Exercise isn’t the answer to every marriage issue, but it will help you to bond on a new level and establish invaluable disciplines, such as perseverance and goal-setting, that can help combat marital fatigue.” By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator It really doesn’t make sense, does it? Couples will spend $10,000+ and a year or more planning their wedding but spend nothing to prepare for their marriage. This could be a dangerous and potentially destructive oversight. For this reason, from the start of our organization (in 2005) we asked local pastors to sign a pledge that they would not marry a couple unless they had premarital counseling or coaching. We, and many area pastors as it turns out, feel it is THAT important! So, as we dive deep into our theme of preparation for this month, looking at the advantages of premarital counseling and coaching is as natural for us as it is foundational. By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator The attitude of gratitude is powerful in any relationship, but especially so in marriage. As powerful as it can be, it can also be just as challenging. Our spouse is someone we’ve committed the rest of our life to, who probably knows us better than any other human being. They are reminded daily that we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. There are going to be times when we will give each other reasons not to be thankful, mainly because we do this life together. Here are some ways to overcome the challenge of taking the best thing to ever happen to us for granted... By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
As a pastor who has performed countless wedding ceremonies, I’ve witnessed close-up the divine beauty of starry-eyed, committed couples making loving vows to each other and God that they intend to keep for a lifetime. It makes for lots of warm fuzzies and even more happy tears. However, working with struggling couples as a relationship coach for Encompass Connection Center, I’m convinced that they have been struck by a dreaded mental deficiency called “vow amnesia.” It strikes without warning, often brought on by the onset of heated and/or unresolved conflict, difficult life challenges, situational disillusion, or flat-out bad moods. Momentarily taking leave of the macro view of their marriage, they give into the not-as-important-as-it-seems current disagreement. This leaves one wondering “Did I really say ‘I Do’ to ...” By: Jeff Pinkleton Encompass Connection Center Board Member I believe it was Paul David Tripp, who first spoke a hard truth into my spirit about marriage.
One of the primary goals of the God covenant with a man and woman is that they each would conform to the image of Christ. And yes, to accomplish this purpose, God wants to use your spouse to mold you into His image. More than anyone or anything else, says Tripp and others. Sounds a bit painful, and challenging. Yes and Amen. One of the main ways, I’ve seen this play out in my marriage to Kara, is the high priority and value of our same sex friendships. Here's what I mean... By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate
A few weeks ago our executive director shared lots of great tips on staying connected with your partner. Hopefully you found some valuable information there! You may have come away from it wondering how you became so disconnected in the first place? There are lots of reasons couples might find themselves disconnected from life stressors to internal struggles that aren’t being addressed. I would like to share with you what that path to disconnection* often looks like and what you can do to turn the tide! |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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