By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate
January means many of us are feeling the pressure to set resolutions! We begin each year setting lofty, vague and often unattainable goals for ourselves that end up failing by the time the Superbowl airs! But what if we flipped the script and instead of setting goals for new things to do we set an anti-resolution: a commitment to stop doing something. You might be thinking that’s what you always do…
I’m gonna work out every day. I’m gonna write in my journal every day. I’m gonna stop smoking.
But these are all new goals to achieve and can often turn from inspiring to overwhelming quickly. An anti-resolution is ultimately identifying the things that need to change in your life and stopping the behavior that no longer serves you.
Here are a few to consider in 2022:
1. Stop saying ‘Yes’. If you find yourself regularly overwhelmed, overly busy and exhausted this may be one you need to practice. One rule that has helped me in this area is the reminder that every ‘yes’ I give is a ‘no’ to something else. So anytime I’m asked to do something I think through what thing I would be saying no to and weigh if it’s worth it. For example: if I’m asked to join a committee that meets weekly, I’m saying ‘no’ to a minimum of four dinners a month with my family. Sometimes the answer will still be yes but it’s a better-informed yes.
By Lisa Carnegis
After 23 years of marriage (31 if you count dating), you’d think we’d be experts at relationships. At least that’s what we thought.
For the majority of our marriage, our communication with one another suffered. This was long enough for patterns and habits to set in.
By Kermit Rowe
I like to call it “The Flip.” It is as unnatural as it is powerful. But if a couple can make “The Flip,” then the future growth of their relationship and happiness takes an upward trajectory.
What I am speaking of is a change of focus in our relationship. If we are honest, when we enter a relationship with a significant other, we do so with the expectation that this person will make us happier in our life. We love them, but a big component of that love often is how that person makes us feel. But what if we changed our approach, turning to a divine truth to transform our relationship and home?
By Heidi Biswas
(Dave and Heidi are fairly new residents in Springfield, Ohio, with Dave joining our Encompass team in January, 2019 as Outreach Coordinator. You'll get an interesting and inspiring glimpse into their process of selecting wedding attire and atmosphere.)
So we got married in our pajamas. It took me a little while to figure out that this was what I wanted.
At the time of being engaged I didn’t know I had felt an expectation of how I was supposed to get married. The dress, the venue, the decorations, the guest list - I knew it wasn’t what I wanted, but that’s just how weddings are, and I felt some unspoken pressure that that was how it had to be, or I’d be letting people down.
In preparation for the wedding, my sister and my mother would show me pictures of beautiful decorations and plates and dresses and ask which ones I liked best, but I remember not being able to answer very well.
By Lavern Nissley
So, if you had to choose between getting things done or getting along, which is most important to you?
Depending upon how you're wired in your personality, you may find yourself feeling more strongly about one or the other. What's your vote?
By Abby Glaser
Client Advocate, Encompass Connection Center
If you are a woman who grew up from the 60’s to the 80’s you probably had people in your life telling you (regularly!) that you can have it all! A marriage, a successful career, children, a lovely house and a 401K! What no one most likely told you…how to do it?
As a wife, mother of five and full time worker, the most frequent question I get from other women is “How do you do it all?!” How to nurture a healthy relationship, raise spectacular children and crush it professionally? (They don’t say that, this is my interpretation of what they are really asking!) I have learned a lot of lessons in my 20 years of marriage and parenting, mostly what not to do!
Here’s three tips for having it all!
Lavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships.