By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator
At first, I thought it had to be an error. After triple checking my planner, I happily accepted it as our reality. A whole day off! No events, no appointments, no practices, no rushing! WOOHOO!! But, THEN my mind immediately goes to my to-do list: order groceries, hand wash the delicates, clean the bathroom, prepare a lesson for my small group, start planning next weeks schedule, shop for Easter baskets… Ugh! (Insert hand over face emoji here.) My brain needs an “off” switch! By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator The holiday season is once again, upon me… uh, I mean us. I am an enneagram 2, wing 3. If you’ve never done an enneagram study, I highly recommend it. This study helped me learn so much about myself and my loved ones, why we are the way we are, and how to be healthier versions of ourselves. As a 2 wing 3 combination, I’m described as “the hostess,” and boy do I love hosting and entertaining others! Making our home festive, our gatherings joyous, and the season itself “perfect,” has been my goal in the past…even if it makes my Christmas, not so merry. Ha! I tend to put much undo pressure on myself during this season while trying to achieve perfection in every little Christmas thing, but this season I’ve decided to follow these guidelines to a less stressful and more peaceful holiday season: By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator
A day in the life of the Kowalskis: 7-8a drop kids off at school (two different schools) -38 min drive- 9a-2p work -35 min drive- 2:45p pick Josie up from school, -35 min drive- 3:30p pick Dom up from school, drop him at home; Josie change clothes -25 min drive- 5p drop Josie off at rowing (use carpool for pickup) -55 min drive- 7:30p Isaiah's soccer game -55 min drive- 9:30-10:45p Homework, showers, and finally... bedtime This is a fairly typical week night schedule for our family. It makes me cranky just planning it, but this is what families "do" now right? This is the new "normal." But how is this new normal affecting our families? Video featuring Drew and Sarah Brown
RINGS Experience course and coaching participants Drew and Sarah have full lives with 6 young children. They face the daily challenge of making quality time for each other. While going through the RINGS Experience course they acquired a valuable connection tool, the RINGS Chat. But implementing it into their busy schedule was tough. And tiring. But they adapted and adjusted to make it work given their context. The result: A potent legacy of a healthy marriage to pass along to each of their six children. Watch their story in a 3 minute video. By: Jeff Pinkleton Encompass Connection Center Board Member I believe it was Paul David Tripp, who first spoke a hard truth into my spirit about marriage.
One of the primary goals of the God covenant with a man and woman is that they each would conform to the image of Christ. And yes, to accomplish this purpose, God wants to use your spouse to mold you into His image. More than anyone or anything else, says Tripp and others. Sounds a bit painful, and challenging. Yes and Amen. One of the main ways, I’ve seen this play out in my marriage to Kara, is the high priority and value of our same sex friendships. Here's what I mean... By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate
A few weeks ago our executive director shared lots of great tips on staying connected with your partner. Hopefully you found some valuable information there! You may have come away from it wondering how you became so disconnected in the first place? There are lots of reasons couples might find themselves disconnected from life stressors to internal struggles that aren’t being addressed. I would like to share with you what that path to disconnection* often looks like and what you can do to turn the tide! By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate January means many of us are feeling the pressure to set resolutions! We begin each year setting lofty, vague and often unattainable goals for ourselves that end up failing by the time the Superbowl airs! But what if we flipped the script and instead of setting goals for new things to do we set an anti-resolution: a commitment to stop doing something. You might be thinking that’s what you always do…
I’m gonna work out every day. I’m gonna write in my journal every day. I’m gonna stop smoking. But these are all new goals to achieve and can often turn from inspiring to overwhelming quickly. An anti-resolution is ultimately identifying the things that need to change in your life and stopping the behavior that no longer serves you. Here are a few to consider in 2022: 1. Stop saying ‘Yes’. If you find yourself regularly overwhelmed, overly busy and exhausted this may be one you need to practice. One rule that has helped me in this area is the reminder that every ‘yes’ I give is a ‘no’ to something else. So anytime I’m asked to do something I think through what thing I would be saying no to and weigh if it’s worth it. For example: if I’m asked to join a committee that meets weekly, I’m saying ‘no’ to a minimum of four dinners a month with my family. Sometimes the answer will still be yes but it’s a better-informed yes. By Jenny Hamilton Maintaining a lifestyle of eating healthy food and exercising regularly we all know is good for us. However, it probably ranks #1 as the most common daily battle we regularly wage with the “easy to say, hard to do” things in life. We make excuses constantly for why we didn’t stick with our workout plans or diets. We do the same when tending to our relationships. Healthy relationships are like gold! They are what keep us going--mentally, emotionally and even physically. Yet often, to our own detriment, we believe things that are not true -- and we make excuses. Have you ever told yourself this?
By Tessa Stump For years I have been terrified to parent. When I picture raising a child, I picture having a guest in my home for 18+ years. Someone whose happiness dictates all of my decisions and priorities. Notice I said happiness, not holiness. My husband and I want children, but at the same time this type of existence is pretty terrifying.
By Abby Glaser It’s hard to believe we’re nearing a year of life in a pandemic! What started for many of us as a temporary adjustment has become a new way of life. This is especially evident in the distribution of labor for many couples with children! With our children doing virtual school, I became responsible for overseeing the education of our children while trying to work from home. I began to burn out quickly, lashing out in frustration at everyone in our household. I wasn’t alone in that. Research shows that women are three times as likely to report suffering from significant mental health consequences due to covid. Women also account for 80% of those who have left the workforce in the past year. We quickly realized that how we had always done things wasn’t going to work and we had to start from scratch in the division of labor. Here are a couple of ways we have done that!
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HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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