By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator

We spend 70-80% of our day engaged in some form of communication. 55% of that time is generally devoted to listening. The average person who has not worked to develop good listening skills will only remember about half of any recent conversation. 48 hours after the conversation, they are likely to only remember 25% or less… and then there’s me.  My “working mom brain” has so many “open tabs” at any given time, I consider it a win if I remember my own children’s names on a daily basis.

Because of the “coordinated chaos” in my head sometimes, I tend to “drift” when conversing with my husband-especially in the evening after a long day. We don’t have much time together during the week and I always want him to feel that he is important, that I value his thoughts and emotions. So…

By: Joe Kowalski
Owner/CEO Empowered Community Services

Most everyone can remember the panic, sudden jolt, and jarring pain of hitting the ground after their friend jumped off the teeter totter when we were kids.

Or that time when you were in a hurry to get home with the groceries. You’re late, it’s raining, and instead of making three trips into the house with the groceries in the rain, you try to carry all 37 bags at one time, only to slip on the pavement sending a week’s worth of groceries all over the garage floor.

What about this one? You are up against a deadline at work, going on 4 hours of sleep and you get a call at 5:30p from your spouse demanding “where are you?”  With everything going on, you forgot to update your calendar with the kids’ recital that you are now going to miss.  
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These lessons on gravity, imbalance, and regret are hard to forget. Unbalanced objects, whether they be playground equipment, people, or the expectations of others, will always fall.
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My wife and I have four children (3 high schoolers still at home,) a new grandson, 3 dogs, and I run my own small business. The demands on my time are many and balance becomes more and more difficult to maintain. By my own admission, I have a lot of work to do when it comes to balance in my life, but the following are a few pieces of advice I’ve come to cherish on this exceedingly difficult subject.

By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator

​At first, I thought it had to be an error. After triple checking my planner, I happily accepted it as our reality. A whole day off! No events, no appointments, no practices, no rushing! WOOHOO!!  But, THEN my mind immediately goes to my to-do list: order groceries, hand wash the delicates, clean the bathroom, prepare a lesson for my small group, start planning next weeks schedule, shop for Easter baskets… Ugh! (Insert hand over face emoji here.) My brain needs an “off” switch! 

By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator


The holiday season is once again, upon me… uh, I mean us. I am an enneagram 2, wing 3. If you’ve never done an enneagram study, I highly recommend it. This study helped me learn so much about myself and my loved ones, why we are the way we are, and how to be healthier versions of ourselves. As a 2 wing 3 combination, I’m described as “the hostess,” and boy do I love hosting and entertaining others! Making our home festive, our gatherings joyous, and the season itself “perfect,” has been my goal in the past…even if it makes my Christmas, not so merry. Ha!
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I tend to put much undo pressure on myself during this season while trying to achieve perfection in every little Christmas thing, but this season I’ve decided to follow these guidelines to a less stressful and more peaceful holiday season: 

​By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator

A day in the life of the Kowalskis: 

7-8a drop kids off at school (two different schools)
-38 min drive-
9a-2p work
-35 min drive-
2:45p pick Josie up from school,
-35 min drive-
3:30p pick Dom up from school, drop him at home; Josie change clothes
-25 min drive-
5p drop Josie off at rowing (use carpool for pickup)
-55 min drive-
7:30p Isaiah's soccer game
-55 min drive-
9:30-10:45p Homework, showers, and finally... bedtime

This is a fairly typical week night schedule for our family. It makes me cranky just planning it, but this is what families "do" now right? This is the new "normal." But how is this new normal affecting our families?

Video featuring Drew and Sarah Brown
RINGS Experience course and coaching participants

Drew and Sarah have full lives with 6 young children. They face the daily challenge of making quality time for each other. While going through the RINGS Experience course they acquired a valuable connection tool, the RINGS Chat. But implementing it into their busy schedule was tough. And tiring.

But they adapted and adjusted to make it work given their context. The result: A potent legacy of a healthy marriage to pass along to each of their six children. Watch their story in a 3 minute video.

By: Jeff Pinkleton
Encompass Connection Center Board Member

By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate
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A few weeks ago our executive director shared lots of great tips on staying connected with your partner. Hopefully you found some valuable information there! You may have come away from it wondering how you became so disconnected in the first place? There are lots of reasons couples might find themselves disconnected from life stressors to internal struggles that aren’t being addressed. I would like to share with you what that path to disconnection* often looks like and what you can do to turn the tide!  

By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate

January means many of us are feeling the pressure to set resolutions! We begin each year setting lofty, vague and often unattainable goals for ourselves that end up failing by the time the Superbowl airs! But what if we flipped the script and instead of setting goals for new things to do we set an anti-resolution: a commitment to stop doing something.  You might be thinking that’s what you always do…

I’m gonna work out every day. I’m gonna write in my journal every day. I’m gonna stop smoking.

But these are all new goals to achieve and can often turn from inspiring to overwhelming quickly. An anti-resolution is ultimately identifying the things that need to change in your life and stopping the behavior that no longer serves you.
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Here are a few to consider in 2022:
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1. Stop saying ‘Yes’. If you find yourself regularly overwhelmed, overly busy and exhausted this may be one you need to practice. One rule that has helped me in this area is the reminder that every ‘yes’ I give is a ‘no’ to something else. So anytime I’m asked to do something I think through what thing I would be saying no to and weigh if it’s worth it. For example: if I’m asked to join a committee that meets weekly, I’m saying ‘no’ to a minimum of four dinners a month with my family. Sometimes the answer will still be yes but it’s a better-informed yes.