By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director (Our March blog posts are featuring elements related to preparation. Thanks to Jerrod and Ashley Evans for sharing how they have been prepared through an Encompass resource.) This past Monday I received an "out-of-the-blue" email from a couple who had taken the RINGS course and coaching two years ago. They are approaching their 15th anniversary, and their sense of confidence for their marriage to go the distance has greatly increased. I'd love to have them speak for themselves on the impact, particularly of how the tools and skills acquired in RINGS are affecting them two years later.
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By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator It really doesn’t make sense, does it? Couples will spend $10,000+ and a year or more planning their wedding but spend nothing to prepare for their marriage. This could be a dangerous and potentially destructive oversight. For this reason, from the start of our organization (in 2005) we asked local pastors to sign a pledge that they would not marry a couple unless they had premarital counseling or coaching. We, and many area pastors as it turns out, feel it is THAT important! So, as we dive deep into our theme of preparation for this month, looking at the advantages of premarital counseling and coaching is as natural for us as it is foundational. By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate Spring is a time for new birth and new growth…and at the Encompass office it’s a time when we start getting calls from engaged couples preparing for their weddings! After fielding one of those calls recently I found myself thinking about what things I wish I would have been told before getting married. There were many misconceptions my husband and I had that we quickly found out were wrong! After 25 years together, I can confidently debunk the following ones! By: Ronda Nissley,
Co-Director of Encompass Connection Center There are few things I find more annoying than a stoplight that turns red just as I am approaching the intersection. It’s personal – the green light sees me coming, quickly turns yellow and then red – forcing me to come to a complete stop! Several months ago, as Lavern and I were hurrying across town to make it to our next meeting, I couldn’t help but notice that we were literally hitting EVERY SINGLE RED light!! I could feel the exasperation and tension rising inside of me and was getting ready to express that frustration when Lavern joyfully announces, “Have you noticed we have been first at every red light?” Incredulous, I told him I noticed we were getting stopped by every red light, but I certainly didn’t see that as a good thing! He responded by saying how much he enjoyed being “first in line” so he could take off unimpeded when the light turned green. By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator The attitude of gratitude is powerful in any relationship, but especially so in marriage. As powerful as it can be, it can also be just as challenging. Our spouse is someone we’ve committed the rest of our life to, who probably knows us better than any other human being. They are reminded daily that we are not perfect, and we make mistakes. There are going to be times when we will give each other reasons not to be thankful, mainly because we do this life together. Here are some ways to overcome the challenge of taking the best thing to ever happen to us for granted... Testimonial by Chris & Amy Pruett
RINGS course & coaching participants This one minute to the point testimonial contains a valuable principle from a couple who was on the ropes and hating each other. See if you can find it! By: Cindee Johnson, Encompass Relationship Coach
Chatting recently with a new bride, she was in awe to learn my husband and I are celebrating this month our 33rd anniversary. “Wow, 33 years! What’s your secret?” she asked. If you have been married for any length of time, how would you respond to that newlywed’s question? Is the secret simply falling in love? Is it compromise? Having patience? Saying you’re sorry? Showing respect? Appreciating each other? Offering forgiveness? Laughing together? By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
Time and time again, I sit in the coaching rooms of Encompass Connection Center as one of its relationship facilitators and work with struggling couples who find themselves wondering: “How did we ever get here?” No one gets married to get divorced. One chooses “to become one” with another human being with the belief that life together with our perceived soulmate will be much better than without them. Yet the stresses of life, inevitable mistakes by both spouses and poor communication habits erode their relationship and weaken their love. How do they get back to where they started their holy matrimony? By Ronda Nissley
Encompass Co-director By now, you may have heard the term “quiet quitting” in relationship to employment. If you haven’t, this is when an employee decides to do “just enough to get by” – no extra effort, no striving for excellence, and no emotional buy-in to the mission and purpose of their employer. This is justified by our desire for work/life balance and the sense that we don’t owe our employer anything but to do the job we’ve been hired to do. Personally, I’m very curious how this will work long-term – for the employee as well as the employer. Introduction by Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director The brief video we're featuring answers the question, "How do you know when it's time to seek help in your marriage?" Not every couple reaching out to us is on the brink - some just want to grow in their skills. But Kevin and Renee were giving it one final attempt. Their heartfelt reflections are an encouragement to all couples who can identify with them. Encompass Connection Center helps couples learn how to create fulfilling, productive relationships for years to come. We offer a free relationship assessment to determine your relationship’s strengths and potential threats. For additional help, look into our RINGS Experience, which includes marriage strengthening exercises and a coaching model to help build real intimacy and growth skills. We'll also help you to break those destructive patterns that may negatively impact generations. |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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