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PRACTICAL TIPS & INSIGHTS FOR YOUR

RELATIONSHIPS

choosing kids over your spouse is dangerous to your familiy's health

5/12/2022

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By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator

Another Mother’s Day has come and gone.
The relationship between a mother and her children has been widely heralded and celebrated, and deservedly so. The women who were divinely chosen to be our gateway into this world are the glue that helps hold our families and nation together.
 

However, if that parent-child relationship supersedes the husband-wife relationship, trouble in the family usually follows. Picking your spouse over your kids is increasingly becoming unpopular advice as the country increasingly turns away from God and His ways. However, not making that choice goes against the priorities God set up for all marriages. His order of priority when things get unclear: God first, your spouse second, the kids third. 

This doesn’t mean that you love your children less. God forbid! But when we decide to accept God’s gift of holy matrimony with the love of our life, we are expected to live our married lives in His holy ways. There’s a reason “forsaking all others” is part of the traditional wedding vows. All means all if push comes to shove. 

Why is it important to choose your spouse over your kids if you must pick one over the other? Here are just four of the myriads of reasons: ​

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a fresh start: time and time again

3/29/2022

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By: Jennifer Michael, Business Services Coordinator


As most of us relish the change in seasons from winter to spring, I think we can agree that we all look forward to the fresh starts in life from time to time. We get a fresh start on January 1st, at the beginning of a new school year, with a new car, new job or a new house. I anticipate a fresh start with each new season of my kids playing soccer. Sitting outside in the fresh air, with a wind chill temperature index of 23, getting a sunburn…or wait…maybe that’s wind burn. Ahhhhhh. Now THAT is fresh!

​Sometimes, a fresh start can indicate that we are putting something negative behind us. Bad decisions. Failures. Fears. Mistakes. Maybe what’s fading into the background are feelings of confusion, frustration and weariness. We’re ready to move forward to something new. Something better.

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A FRESH START: pARENT'S EDITION

3/23/2022

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By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate

Can you feel it? The days are getting longer. The temperatures outside are getting warmer. Spring is in the air, and spring is the season for fresh starts. Even parents need a fresh start sometimes...


Every time I sit down to write a blog post on parenting or begin teaching a parenting class I always feel the need to clarify that I’m not an expert. Most people already know this but you’d be surprised at how many think mother of five children equals expert!

One of the interesting things about my current stage in life is that I now have two adult children living out of my house and three still at home. So I’m starting to hear from the older kids areas they feel I could have done better and I have the opportunity to make some of those changes now with the younger kids. While my big kids will often lament about how differently we parent their younger siblings, my response is always of course
! Just like them, their dad and I are always growing and evolving and trying to do a little better than we did before. In some ways one of the gifts of having multiple children that span a ten-year age gap is that we get ongoing chances to pivot and do better. I often hear from parents in coaching that they feel stuck or in a rut with their kids, especially teenagers. I’d like to offer a few ways to pursue a fresh start! ​

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Romance through the years: while the kids are at home

2/9/2022

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By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator

 Ahhh February- a month of ROMANCE! Each week in February we’ll be sharing about the seasons of romance in marriage.  Last week we visited the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons. This week we’ll talk about romance while the children are at home. Next week will be for the empty nesters and finally we’ll finish with the golden years. 

Parent or romantic partner … which comes first?


What is the most challenging time in a marriage? When the honeymoon is over.
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The trick of course is to be able to keep the honeymoon attitude alive. But no matter how romantic the two are, that comes to a screeching halt when the two who became one, turn around and become two again, and three, and four, and … well, you get the picture. There are a lot of challenging ‘hoods out there, but none more challenging than parenthood.

My wife and I, and some of you I’m sure, have been there and done that. Our nest is empty, and we don’t mind at all (most of the time). But many of you homemakers are in the eye of the storm, and those winds can howl. As an Encompass relationship facilitator and pastor, I’m constantly seeing the shrapnel produced by kid-induced, divisive war on the home front. It is heartbreaking as it is home-wrecking!

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Throw some shade... in a good way

1/26/2022

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By: Jennifer Michael, Executive Assistant
Does anyone else tend to withdraw from people during those uncomfortable times of heartache, anger, fear, and temptation? Guilty, right here. But why do we do that? What makes us think we can get through those times without having someone to help us along the way? You know, someone to give us just a little bit of shade in the desert, so to speak.

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New year's anti-resolutions

1/19/2022

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By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate
January means many of us are feeling the pressure to set resolutions! We begin each year setting lofty, vague and often unattainable goals for ourselves that end up failing by the time the Superbowl airs! But what if we flipped the script and instead of setting goals for new things to do we set an anti-resolution: a commitment to stop doing something.  You might be thinking that’s what you always do…

I’m gonna work out every day. I’m gonna write in my journal every day. I’m gonna stop smoking.

But these are all new goals to achieve and can often turn from inspiring to overwhelming quickly. An anti-resolution is ultimately identifying the things that need to change in your life and stopping the behavior that no longer serves you.
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Here are a few to consider in 2022:
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1. Stop saying ‘Yes’. If you find yourself regularly overwhelmed, overly busy and exhausted this may be one you need to practice. One rule that has helped me in this area is the reminder that every ‘yes’ I give is a ‘no’ to something else. So anytime I’m asked to do something I think through what thing I would be saying no to and weigh if it’s worth it. For example: if I’m asked to join a committee that meets weekly, I’m saying ‘no’ to a minimum of four dinners a month with my family. Sometimes the answer will still be yes but it’s a better-informed yes. 

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Giving with dignity: Making this Christmas season even more magical

12/1/2021

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By: Abby Glaser
It’s hard to believe the holidays are here! If you are like me, you are already making progress on your shopping list for Christmas. One of my favorite parts about the holiday season is seeing the generosity of our community. There’s something about the Christmas spirit that brings out the best in us! You may like to give to organizations that help those in need or you may prefer to do it yourself through adopting families or giving trees. However you spread Christmas joy this year, consider giving the gift of dignity! You may be wondering what that means... allow me to explain!

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​How to Be a Good In-Law When Your Child Has a Family of Their Own

8/24/2021

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By Encompass Outreach Group
When you get married, you get your first experience of having in-laws with your partner’s parents. This can often be a time filled with frustration and complications. However, once you have children and they grow up, get married, and have families of their own, you suddenly become the mother-in-law or father-in-law that you once had to deal with. Here’s how to be a good in-law when your child has a family of their own:

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TERRIFIED TO PARENT

7/21/2021

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By Tessa Stump
For years I have been terrified to parent. When I picture raising a child, I picture having a guest in my home for 18+ years. Someone whose happiness dictates all of my decisions and priorities. Notice I said happiness, not holiness. My husband and I want children, but at the same time this type of existence is pretty terrifying.

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​PRAY TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER? IT’S TRUE, AND DANGEROUS IF WE DON’T

7/7/2021

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By Kermit Rowe, Relationship Facilitator
The struggle is real. It can also be embarrassing … and convicting!
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I thought the struggle my wife and I have with praying together consistently made us an exception. But talking with and coaching other couples here at Encompass Connection Center, I’ve discovered that those who often fail to pray together consistently may be of the majority. It’s also revealing that couples I work with who struggle overall in their relationships also have not been praying together.

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    Lavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships.

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