 By Cindee Johnson Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner Our wedding was just a couple of months away. I was a divorced, single mom of two young children. Dave had never been married and had no children of his own. My kids bonded so well with him, and he fully supported my commitment to keeping their relationship strong with their birth father.
One relaxing Friday evening in August 1989, while talking over dinner about our upcoming marriage, the subject of date nights came up. I wondered out loud, “Will we still do evenings like this once we’re married?” “Why, yes, we will.” And yes, we have. And yes, we still do--nearly 36 years later as empty nesters. At the time, we had no idea how meaningful that decision would become.
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 By Lavern and Ronda Nissley Team Nissley Coaching & Consulting A surge of sadness and loss went through me the first time I (Lavern) saw my Dad walking more slowly and hunched over. He had always been active and a rather fast walker. Now he looked like an old man. Fortunately, this image of Dad didn't catch us off guard since we had numerous discussions with Mom and Dad about this stage of life. But it still hit me to see such a vivid picture of irreversible aging.
In 2018, after months of Ronda visiting her parents weekly in London, Ohio (about 45 minutes from our home in Springfield), we arrived at the mutual decision to relocate them to Wooded Glen, a long-term care facility in Springfield. In 2019, we did the same for Lavern's parents, moving them from Arthur, Illinois, to a condo in Springfield. These decisions were fully processed with respective parents and siblings, with the idea that the two of us would take the lead in helping our parents navigate their twilight years. Only one of those four parents is still living. Lavern's Dad passed in November 2021, his Mom in March 2023, and Ronda's Mom in September 2023. Ronda's Dad is approaching his 95th birthday on August 17. So, how did this all work out? How were relationships affected? What did we learn about the initiative to care for our aging parents?  By Dr. David Marine Mabry Executive Director of Encompass Connection Center As we step into August, we’re exploring what it means to do family life through the stages—starting today with marriage in mid-life.
Marriage in the 40–65 range brings unique joys, challenges, and adjustments. Children may be leaving the house or growing more independent. Aging parents may need increasing support. Careers evolve or plateau. Our own bodies, dreams, and identities shift. And yet… something beautiful can happen here. Theresa and I have been married since 1993. We’ve weathered a lot together—raising kids, ministry transitions, career changes, personal growth seasons. What strikes me most as we live in this “mid-life” chapter is not how much we’ve changed… but how essential it is that we keep changing. The key isn’t resisting change. It’s embracing the person your spouse is becoming, and continuing to show up as the person you’re becoming too.  By: Joe Kowalski
Encompass Champion Like many of you I have a few choice verses and even books of the Bible I gravitate towards. The first book of the Bible I can remember reading was James, New testament, not very long and very practical for new a believer. There are several verses that even non-Christians would likely be familiar with even if they couldn’t cite them: John 3:16 (for God so loved the world…), Genesis 1:1 (In the beginning…), and then there are the verses that are often misquoted: ‘God helps those who help themselves’ most often attributed to Ephesians 2: 4-5, and ‘Money is the root of all evil’ pulled from 1 Timothy 6:10. And then there are those verses that we just can’t seem to get away from….in a good way. They pop up in sermons, in small group, and seem to apply to so many situations we are going through in life.  By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator If you are looking for objective, empirical evidence that physical fitness leads to marital happiness and endurance, you’ll be looking long and hard. There just isn’t much out there. But observation and personal experience offer plenty of evidence that it does. Focus On The Family, one of the preeminent marriage ministries of the 20th and 21st centuries, offers this in a recent article: “Exercise isn’t the answer to every marriage issue, but it will help you to bond on a new level and establish invaluable disciplines, such as perseverance and goal-setting, that can help combat marital fatigue.” By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate As we continue to dive into our topic this month, "New," I would love to explore some ways that old relationships may have something new! I’ve had some experience with this recently regarding a Christmas gift I purchased for my Mom. If we’re talking about relationships, there are none “older” than the ones with our parents! I’m sure if asked, I may have said in the past that I know everything there is to know about my Mom. I’ve discovered recently how untrue that is! For Christmas this year I bought my mom a subscription to a platform that facilitates her sharing all kinds of memories from her life in one place. At the end of the year it puts all of those stories together into a bound book about her life, for us to share! You may remember Lavern talking about his book in a prior blog post, A Powerful Present of Presence.  Ahhhh, February- a month of ROMANCE. Each week in February we're discussing the seasons of romance in marriage. After visiting the pre-marital, honeymoon, "with kids at home," and empty nest seasons, this week we're ready to find out what happens romantically in the golden years. By Lavern Nissley
Executive director of Encompass Connection Center This may come as a surprise, but it IS possible to experience romance in marriage after age 60. It's certainly different from romance in the early years of marriage where it doesn't take much for things to get hot and steamy. Perhaps a metaphor would be appropriate. Young married romance is like a microwave, while senior adult married romance is more like a crockpot. Both can bring about tasty edibles, but the latter is a more deliberate, extended process. It's the latter of these two metaphors we want to dive into. How can you keep love alive after decades together as a couple and as your physical energy and health levels decline? Are there ways to grow in body/soul/spirit attractiveness as we age?  By: Ronda Nissley, Co Director Ahhhh, February- a month of ROMANCE. Each week in February we're discussing the seasons of romance in marriage. After visiting the pre-marital, honeymoon, and "with kids at home," seasons, this week we're ready to find out what happens romantically after the kids leave home! Next week, we’ll finish with the golden years. Romance…. When the kids leave home
We’ve seen it many times. Kids go off to college, they move out and start their own lives. What was once a flurry of daily activity that centered around the children has now ceased. The days of shuttling kids to school; attending sporting events; washing mountains of laundry; re-stocking the refrigerator and pantry (daily); de-cluttering dropped book bags and coaching our children through life’s challenges eventually do come to an end. Suddenly, parents find themselves alone again with the realization that they hardly know, let alone like their partner anymore. It doesn’t have to be that way!  By Encompass Outreach Group When you get married, you get your first experience of having in-laws with your partner’s parents. This can often be a time filled with frustration and complications. However, once you have children and they grow up, get married, and have families of their own, you suddenly become the mother-in-law or father-in-law that you once had to deal with. Here’s how to be a good in-law when your child has a family of their own:
 By Abby Glaser For many of us the new year brings reflection and reevaluating of goals and priorities. A new year brings a new slate to determine what we do and who we will be. My family finds ourselves looking at this more than usual as we’ve lost two family members already in the new year. There are few experiences in life that will force you to evaluate your own legacy than losing a loved one. What will be said about you in your eulogy?
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HostsDr. David Marine and Theresa Mabry are Co-Directors of Encompass since June 1, 2024. TOPICS
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Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217