Our blog posts in June will focus on reflections surrounding fathers, fatherhood, and their influence in our lives. By Dr. David Marine Mabry Encompass Executive Director Times were not always good with my father, and I wanted things to be different for my children. Before I met my wife, Theresa, I was determined to be the best father I could be. I knew I wouldn't be perfect, but I knew I could be intentional. This intentionality made all the difference. Here are the actions and attitudes I worked on to be the best father I could be. 1. Work on my marriage daily. The number one positive parenting action is to work on a healthy marriage proactively. I knew that if my marriage were stable, my children would feel and know stability. Learning to communicate well and positively resolve conflict will extend a healthy and peaceful household. I have seen my children adopt relational skills that their mom and I have worked on modeling over the years. 2. Be teachable When my oldest was a toddler (now 28 years old), I shared with a fellow dad my grand philosophy of parenting (which was immature and lacking). His children were well-behaved and a pleasure to be around, and I asked him what his “trick” was. He said, “Do you really want to know? Don’t ask if you aren't ready to learn something new.” He was the kind of friend who could be direct with me. After that, he introduced me to a wonderful parenting program that changed my entire approach. If I had not been teachable, my children would have had a much different father. 3. Spend quality time One of my favorite things about being a dad has been weekly “dates” with my children. I knew each of my three children needed one-on-one and family time. Every date was specifically geared toward the child I was with at the time. Quality time has made a huge difference. 4. Pay attention As a dad, I needed to be attentive to my kids. They enjoy some things that I don’t always enjoy. They have specific interests of which I should be aware. Pay attention to their moods, likes and dislikes, concerns, and joys. They know when we pay attention. 5. Take responsibility I knew from day one when I held my oldest for the first time that I was responsible for this little life. No one else is called “Dad.” I needed to own this role for all its challenges and celebrations. Being passive was not an option. I have chosen to take full responsibility as the father of my children to this day. My children are all adults now. Times were not always good with my father, and things were very different for my children. Being an intentional father has made all the difference. Explore Fathering/Parenting resources
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HostsDr. David Marine and Theresa Mabry are Co-Directors of Encompass since June 1, 2024. TOPICS
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