Disconnect from the hustle

By Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate

Our theme this month is freedom! Something I’ve been focused on the past few years is disconnecting from the American culture of constant hustle. What do I mean when I say Hustle culture? This societal attitude promotes working long hours at the expense of meeting personal needs. It’s rooted in capitalism, materialism and the belief that success is defined by professional accomplishment. Before I jump in, let me clarify I have no problem working hard to meet my family’s needs. Nor do I have an issue with ambition. But what I am constantly evaluating in my own life is at what cost?
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​Several years ago, I found myself burnt out in life. Between my husband and I’s careers, five kids, ministry obligations, and a host of other things, I felt like I was sinking. There were too many things on the calendar and not enough hours in the day! In addition to all of that, we were preparing to send our oldest child off to college. Suddenly all those obligations paled in comparison to the realization that my time of active parenting was coming to an end! The combination of these circumstances confirmed in me that I needed to rearrange my priorities and how I delegate my time. At the end of my life would I look back and wish I had made more money? Or would I regret the time I spent away from my loved ones? The answer was clear and the changes began!

Step one was clearly listing every single obligation I have outside of my home. This included work, volunteer activities, ministry roles, social opportunities, etc. From there it was time to list them in order of importance. I must go to work and earn a salary. But I don’t have to work outside of work if I choose not to! So, my first set of boundaries was turning off email notifications on my phone and setting do not disturb during hours of the day I want to focus on my family life. That means if you try to call me after hours you may not reach me! I made that change 5 years ago and no major catastrophe has occurred before the next morning!

The next step was significantly pairing down my volunteer responsibilities. Again, I have a limited season for my kids living at home. I will have many years with an empty nest to do all kinds of things, but I only get one chance to be present with my kids. This one can be tricky because we usually volunteer for things we feel passionate about. But the trade off is more time with my family and that is always worth it.

​Lastly, learn to say NO. You can do all this work of reorganizing your time and responsibilities and it will be futile if you keep agreeing to new things to fill the time! A good rule of thumb for me is that every YES is a No to something else. If I’m asked to join a committee that meets twice a month that’s two dinners I won’t be home. Is the tradeoff worth it? Sometimes that answer is yes and sometimes it’s no! But it can be helpful in making those kinds of decisions to look at what the cost is for that Yes.
We all live in a society that tries to convince us that success equals money and accolades. But at the end of our lives, our success will be evident in the relationships we’ve fostered and nurtured. And all the money in the world doesn’t beat that! 

Looking to improve your relationship skills? Start here! The REACH Experience