 Credit to Mary Ann Shillinger, Pinterest pin By Lavern Nissley
Before Abraham Lincoln became President in 1861 he gave a memorable speech that came to be known as "House Divided". It was essentially a no compromise speech attacking the possibility of a half slave, half free United States. "A house divided against itself cannot stand", Lincoln proclaimed as he quoted Jesus' words centuries earlier. In the aftermath of two horrible mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton polarization and escalation have increased between left and right. I wonder what President Lincoln would say about today's political landscape. Certainly there are issues that divide Americans at a level that slavery did in the 1800's. (See optional extra reading at end of blog for more texture on this.)
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 By Lavern Nissley
A number of years ago Ronda and I were in a mentoring session with a couple married for 20 years. They were "prickly" - a term we've come to use for very stressed couples. The puzzle was that they had taken all kinds of marriage classes, attended retreats and read the latest books on marriage. But it wasn't evident at all! In one session they said something profound. "We know what our problem is. It's actually 3 things." When they said what the 3 things were, we both thought, "Yep! You certainly do seem to have these 3."  By Lavern Nissley
(This post is birthed out of a challenging, life-altering experience affecting Lavern & Ronda Nissley, Encompass co-directors.) Ronda was feeling some abdominal discomfort the Friday before Father’s Day, similar to an episode she had experienced earlier with diverticulitis. What worked before was antibiotics. So when she went to Urgent Care on Father’s Day and was sent to the ER for a CAT scan, she was still thinking, “I just need some antibiotics.” I joined Ronda in the ER after receiving her text that she had been sent there. We were not prepared for the results of the CAT scan.  By Lavern Nissley
Whenever two or more people come together for any purpose, goal or objective, there is potential for things going horribly wrong or incredibly well, with plenty of intermediate options. Most of us have experienced both ends of this social emotionally laden continuum. What is it that influences one outcome or the other? Mathematician and relationship researcher John Gottman has developed 4 predictors of marriage failure and 4 predictors of marriage success based upon his observation of hundreds of couples. Want to know what they are?  By Abby Glaser
I was listening to a podcast recently where the guest shared something called the “10-7-5 Rule”. The gist of it is that each person has ten defining moments, seven critical choices and five pivotal people who impact who they are. Defining moments, both positive and negative, are events who have changed or redefined who we are. Many of those are situations out of our control and our response to them is what changes us. Critical choices, also positive or negative, have affected our life up until today and set the path for our future. Lastly, five pivotal people are individuals who have made an indelible mark on our lives. That latter category has had me thinking the most.  By Lavern Nissley
One of Ronda's goals for 2019 is to become more minimalistic. What that 5 syllable word means is that she is "on a mission" to do a lot of household item purging so that clutter is reduced and only the essentials are available to us. Scary. I wasn't sure how this was going to turn out. Just under two months into this crusade for simplicity, I don't want to go back. It's had an amazing effect upon us!  By Lavern Nissley
A precious 60 year marriage transitioned suddenly on Monday, January 7, 2019. Gary and Dottie Wade were married June 13, 1958, having met each other in junior high school. But on this fateful Monday morning Gary found the love of his life slumped over in a chair.  By Jeremy Hudson, guest blogger
Jeremy is campus pastor of Fellowship Spring Hill in Springfield OH and CEO/Founder/Owner at Red Chair Leadership “Jeremy, asking questions makes you look smart!” I can hear those words ringing in my ears like they were said yesterday, not the twenty years ago when my dad said them to me. He was gently yet firmly challenging a blindspot that was cropping up in my leadership abilities. I was under the impression that to be the leader on a team or in an organization meant you had knew better than everyone else what needed to be done and how. At that point in my youth, I was carrying myself like I was the smartest guy in any room I walked into. When presented with a problem, the absolute worst thing I could imagine saying in response was “I don’t know.” So, instead of digging into and learning about what was going on, I would make something up. Even if it was wrong. Because leaders are supposed to know things. After all, that was why you are the leader, right? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. 
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