By Cindee Johnson Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner “If you can’t say anything nice then just don’t say anything at all!” That firm directive flew from the front seat to the back one summer as my family traveled out west. I was probably 10, and my little sister and I were arguing, again. Neither of us using nice words about the other as we tried to get our parents to choose sides.
Then Dad’s words and his tone settled it once and for all: “I said…if you can’t say anything nice then just don’t say anything at all!” Nice words. You know the ones. The kind that build others up. You likely know the opposite, too. Harsh ones. Words that tear people down. Most of us have experienced in our lives some of each. Words have proven time and time again to be a powerful influence in our lives. They are a significant force in forming our attitudes, beliefs, self-image, behaviors, thoughts, self-worth, even our relationships. They can soothe a soul, spark creativity, bring a smile, motivate, encourage, lift spirits. They also can crush a heart, trample self-esteem, cause great divides, create conflict. Whether we are in conversation with family or friends, at play or at work, words hold power. Have you ever been in an environment where words didn’t matter? What was that like? How did it make you feel?
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By Lavern Nissley Encompass Relationship Facilitator Most of us spend way more time in the workplace every week than with our spouses or families. In some ways, workplace relationships can become more complicated and complex than family relationships because of different power, financial, and legal environments. Yet, there are similar dynamics in all settings where humans interact: communication, conflict resolution, stress, emotions, and expectations.
For the past 48 years, I've experienced many workplace settings both as an employee as well as a supervisor/overseer of others. Thankfully, most of these settings have been healthy, with only a handful of "nightmare co-workers" to deal with. I've also served as a consultant/facilitator to several dozen organizations during the past 5 decades, and unfortunately have observed workplace dynamics that literally suck the life and joy out of people. Not good! What follows are three overall criteria for a healthy workplace. Each could be "drilled down" for even more depth and specificity. But this is a brief blog, so here goes! Our blog post theme for March is "Growth Areas." So, our blog post authors will be challenging us toward growth in personal awareness for the sake of strengthening relationships.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director Thursday evenings, 7-8 pm, were times I looked forward to for about 2 1/2 months. Why? It wasn't for recreation, spending time with family, or a favorite TV show. It was to spend quality time with Ryan and Julie Preas, a couple who signed up for our RINGS Experience education and coaching. Even though Ryan and Julie weren't where they wanted to be in their 22-year marriage, they had a lot of the intangibles down like mutual respect, seeking peace, and growing together. But they didn't want to stay where they were. What a joy it was to watch them moving their health needle into more and more positives! Encompass Executive Director Lavern Nissley shared this 23-minute SOUL Talk presentation on "The Good: Investing in Healthy Families and Relationships" at The Nehemiah Foundation's annual Case for Community Summit September 8, 2023.
You may want to download a number of items he refers to in the presentation:
The theme for August posts will be Finances/Money in Marriage, which seems to be a common issue between spouses. This post is a reprint from September, 2020.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director Spender. Saver. Risk-taker. Security seeker. Flyer. All ways of how people are "wired" around money. Even as there are behavioral personality characteristics such as outgoing, reserved, confident, calm, etc., there are also personality types related to our engagement with money and financial management. Differing money personalities can create disagreements and even major conflicts in marriages, families, groups and organizations. But learning your own money personality(ies) can bring insights and more realistic expectations. Discover your money personality in about 3 minutes through a FREE online assessment that we've developed for use in The RINGS Experience. The theme for August posts will be Finances/Money in Marriage, which seems to be a common issue between spouses.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director "Money is the root of all evil", right? Wrong. It is the LOVE of money that creates problems. Ronda and I have watched this play out dozens of times on Dateline, the NBC show of 31 seasons that specializes in "compelling mysteries, powerful documentaries, and in-depth investigations." Typically, one or both partners are on a trajectory that has them loving money or pursuing sex outside of the relationship and ending in murder. But marriage and money CAN go together well, provided that the following tips are followed. If implemented, we can almost guarantee that you won't end up on Dateline! By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director (Our blog posts in May will feature content surrounding health of various types - with a connection to relationships, of course!) Those of you that know Ronda and me well know that we've become quite fond of bicycling. In fact, you may know that for the past thirteen years we've ridden about 13,000 miles on a rather unique looking tandem recumbent bike. It has provided us with hundreds of hours interacting with each other and working together as a team (most of the time😊) to enjoy biking adventures, sometime up to 30 and 40 miles at a time. We've accomplished six or seven "century rides" - that's 100 miles in one day. What you may not know is the "WHY" of bicycling for us. You'll see three solid reasons that have made this activity our favorite health investment. Is there a connection between couples having fun and experiencing romance? Not sure I would have made such a correlation until Ronda and I actually experienced it ourselves at a WinShape Marriage Retreat in Rome, Georgia. A series of couple challenges where both of us had to work together really gave us the FEELING of being connected in a positive way.
We found out later that it's part of the WinShape Marriage DNA - to CREATE environments and opportunities for couples to have fun together. Want to know more about this connection? By Lavern & Ronda Nissley A traumatic pair of recent falls from our tandem recumbent bicycle made us think seriously about our tandem biking future. We hadn’t fallen in about 9 years, and within a week we fell twice. The second fall shook us and actually raised the question on whether we should just stop riding tandem altogether. Kind of like divorcing our bike!
By Encompass Outreach Group Most marriages have difficulties, arguments, and even fights that can lead to you and your partner feeling disconnected from each other. Marriage strengthening exercises help you reconnect and find your love again by focusing on areas like team-building, intimacy, and communication. Here’s how to strengthen your marriage using exercises that will have an immediate impact, some of which you can even do at home.
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HostsDr. David Marine and Theresa Mabry are Co-Directors of Encompass since June 1, 2024. TOPICS
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