By Lavern Nissley

When I typed the title of this blog post a few seconds ago, my computer put a red line under the word "phub". Meaning it's not a word it recognizes. Until last week I had never heard of it either.

By the time you've read through this post you'll know it's definition as well as how not to do it.

By Lavern Nissley

Before Abraham Lincoln became President in 1861 he gave a memorable speech that came to be known as "House Divided". It was essentially a no compromise speech attacking the possibility of a half slave, half free United States. "A house divided against itself cannot stand", Lincoln proclaimed as he quoted Jesus' words centuries earlier.

In the aftermath of two horrible mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton polarization and escalation have increased between left and right. I wonder what President Lincoln would say about today's political landscape. Certainly there are issues that divide Americans at a level that slavery did in the 1800's. (See optional extra reading at end of blog for more texture on this.)

By Lavern Nissley

I watched a hush fall over the waiting area of the License Bureau as an elderly couple slowly crossed the huge distance from the door to the clerk. Holding each other for stability, him with a red-tipped cane, her with a handful of documents, both with eyes forward, they seemed to reflect decades of memories. A picture of lasting commitment.

Who was this couple? And why did they attract the attention of all in the room?

By Lavern Nissley

We launched this weekly blog exactly a year ago in order to make available "mini bites" of relationship tips and insights to interested readers and followers. Most posts have gone live on Tuesday mornings around 10 am. To date we've generated 70 topic tags for the 52 posts. And about 18,000 views.

It seemed like a good time to pause and listen to your thoughts. Nothing extensive, just 3 simple questions that you can respond to in the survey below in about a minute.

By Lavern Nissley

The "Send her back" chant that erupted at President Trump's rally in North Carolina last week touched nerves everywhere. It singled out a congresswoman from Minnesota, an immigrant from Somalia and US citizen. Her views have been particularly troubling to conservatives as well as to some colleagues in her own party.

The ping pong match of acerbic tweets and public comments between Trump and "The Squad" of four congresswomen (close allies of the chant target) seemed to boil over into newscasts, social media discussions and private conversations. Maybe that's why we had such hot weather in most of the USA last week?

What can we learn from such intense political polarization and flame-throwing that could help us in our couple, family and organizational relationships?

By Lavern Nissley

A close acquaintance of mine has lived a life of anger. I can’t remember many interactions with him when he wasn’t angry about something. Occasionally, I’ve been the target of his anger.

Needless to say, it’s not enjoyable being around people who are perpetually peeved! But what to do?

​By Lavern Nissley

A number of years ago Ronda and I were in a mentoring session with a couple married for 20 years. They were "prickly" - a term we've come to use for very stressed couples. The puzzle was that they had taken all kinds of marriage classes, attended retreats and read the latest books on marriage. But it wasn't evident at all!

In one session they said something profound. "We know what our problem is. It's actually 3 things." When they said what the 3 things were, we both thought, "Yep! You certainly do seem to have these 3."

​By Lavern Nissley

If you have children, or are planning to have children, what would you say is your one word job description as a parent? It could fit into the blank in this sentence: "I believe my parenting job description is to __________."

By Lavern and Ronda Nissley
(This post is a follow up to Father's Day surprise from last week about a life-altering experience that almost took Ronda's life. If you aren't familiar with this back story, you'll want to read it first.)

Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, had this to say about it in a 2010 Greater Good Magazine post : "Gratitude is a social emotion. I see it as a relationship-strengthening emotion because it requires us to see how we’ve been supported and affirmed by other people." He also provided 4 reasons on why gratitude is good.

We'd like to share those 4 reasons as well as our own 7 points of gratitude surrounding a major challenge in our own marriage journey.