(Steve and Sara completed the newly updated RINGS Experience Online with coaching in September, 2020)

​We have been married for over 21 years. But we weren’t happily married. We had previously sought marital counseling, but that didn’t really help us to identify and acknowledge our strength and growth areas.  And it certainly didn’t equip us with the understanding and skills to be more effective in our communication. We had a covenantal marriage, a promise to each other for better or worse.  But life in the “worse” was not sustainable for us or our family.

​By Lavern Nissley

A woman asked this question to a marriage and family expert: "How do I love my spouse, but still express my own voice and needs?" (Barbara G.)

The underlying question actually has to do with boundaries, and whether they are healthy or unhealthy.

The marriage and family expert then proceeded to lay out a framework for evaluating the health of boundaries. You'll want to see this simple, sensible and visual distinction.

By Lavern Nissley

Spender. Saver. Risk-taker. Security seeker. Flyer. All ways of how people are "wired" around money.

Even as there are behavioral personality characteristics such as outgoing, reserved, confident, calm, etc., there are also personality types related to our engagement with money and financial management.

Differing money personalities can create disagreements and even major conflicts in marriages, families, groups and organizations. But learning your own money personality(ies) can bring insights and more realistic expectations. Discover your money personality in about 3 minutes through a FREE online assessment that we've developed for use in The RINGS Experience.

By Lavern Nissley

Not everyone enjoys putting together jigsaw puzzles. I didn't grow up with them as Ronda did. But I have come to enjoy the challenge and synergy of working together on a puzzle until the very last piece is inserted. It's been good for our marriage, and it has extended to a fulfilling family activity with our granddaughter, Ali, age 10.

What is it about puzzles that bring such fulfillment and a sense of achievement? Why even spend the time putting one together when you just pull it apart and put it back in the box when done? Are there actual physiological and psychological benefits?

By Lavern & Ronda Nissley

How often do you experience unmet relationship expectations? Have you noticed that even a few unmet expectations can feel like a wet blanket over an otherwise good thing?

After almost 42 years of marriage, both of us can point to a lengthy list of disappointments in each other. Generally speaking, all disappointments are the result of unmet expectations. 

What if we adjusted our expectations to more realistic levels. Like from being met 100 percent of the time to, say 70 percent of the time?

By Lavern Nissley

Forgiveness isn't easy, but it's so necessary to avoid living in confinement or "in prison".

This brief video clip comes from the TV show Code Black. Dr. Leanne Rorish visits the man in prison who killed her husband and two children as a drunk driver. Notice their use of the word "prison" to describe their pre-forgiveness situation.

By Lavern Nissley
(Personal reflections on a favorite pastime with Ronda)

Today is the 10th anniversary of our tandem recumbent bicycle maiden voyage. Since then we’ve logged 11,742 miles and 740 hours, 43 minutes on this bike that keeps us inseparable and fairly comfortable.

By Lavern Nissley

One of the ruts couples and families can run into is asking the same questions of each other, well-meaning as they may be. Rut question. Rut answer. "Fine."

A recent blog post I read by Ann Malmberg from PREPARE/ENRICH had a title that caught my attention. "5 Questions to Replace 'How was your day?'" You'll see several in a minute, but the post got me thinking of a list of other questions that are a bit out of the ordinary.

By Lavern Nissley

Before my annual check-up each year my primary care doctor sends me to a lab to draw blood for several different panels. These include CBC with Auto Differential, Comprehensive Metabolic Panel, TSH without Reflex, Lipid Panel, and PSA Screening.  Dozens of levels are then sent to him electronically for analysis and communication to me.

There are also the basic metrics of temperature, pulse, oxygen level, and blood pressure that are secured during the actual visit.  I'm so grateful to be able to keep an eye on these many different levels that affect my health and that can trigger early warnings if needed.

Keeping relationships healthy also involves some way of capturing a current snapshot of how things really are. Ronda and I do this via a relationship assessment every several years just to make sure we're not missing anything that could create issues or problems for us.

Completing a relationship assessment is a great way to say, "We care about our relationship, and we want to know what's going well and what we need to work on to be at full health."

At Encompass, we've recently developed a simple 5-10 minute online assessment in conjunction with The RINGS Experience that is totally FREE and available for couples to use.

​By Lavern Nissley

Our good friends Dr. David and Theresa Mabry are doing great work on behalf of marriage relationships. Formerly from Springfield, they now live in Powell, Ohio just north of Columbus. It's so fulfilling to see them working together in a ministry they co-direct, One Another Marriage.

David and Theresa have extensive experience as retreat speakers, marriage coaches, relationship educators, and marriage trainers. David has an earned doctorate from Ashland Theological Seminary. His dissertation research was focused on healthy marriages, Prepare Enrich, and the church. Their desire is to see marriages not just survive, but thrive.

In the past several years they have developed many relationship strengthening materials, and we'd like to give you a brief sample of a recent YouTube video of them sharing 5 tips for better communication . . . to go beyond the "business" that many couples can get bogged down in. They use the metaphor of a balanced diet like "the 5 food groups."

Check it out!