By Lavern & Ronda Nissley

There are these refreshing moments in life, often totally unexpected, where a conversation or phone call feels like a real gift.

Jeff Fourman, a local business owner and good friend of ours, gave us one of those refreshing gifts in August of 2018. He wanted to do a spotlight on our ministry, so he brought a videographer to help us tell our story. This moved us greatly, especially when we saw the finished product several months later!

Something affirming and validating happens to people when we take the time to draw them out with great questions. At Encompass we're committed to helping couples, families and organizations tell their stories on a regular basis. You can watch these at https://www.encompasscc.org/blog/category/our-stories.

Today, we simply say "thank you" to Jeff Fourman and Fourman Insurance Agency for taking the time to honor our story.

By Lavern Nissley

Have you heard of "The Chosen" series on the life of Jesus and surrounding characters? It's one of the best depictions I've ever seen in this genre. Currently Season 1 is available via a free downloadable app that contains 8 engaging and memorable episodes, each about 50-55 minutes in length. The project is also crowdfunded with opportunities to "pay it forward."

Part of my interest and fascination is with the relationship dynamics in every episode. It's not just about the life of Jesus, but also the very real lives of people like Mary Magdalene, Nicodemus, Peter and his family, Roman soldiers and officials, Matthew and others. Both the writing and acting come across as compelling and real without deviating from the central story. Certainly a lot of drama is inserted as a novel based upon scripture and historical traditions.

Here are a few of my own relationship observations after watching the entire series of 8 episodes.

By Lavern & Ronda Nissley

This past weekend we received a combined Mother's Day/Father's Day gift from our daughter and son-in-law. It's a fun cartoon of the two of us on our tandem recumbent bicycle, masterfully drawn by local artist Valerie Rieker of https://vnrieker.artstation.com/.

We purchased this bicycle in 2010 and have logged about 12,000 miles. Riding it together is truly one of our favorite together activities. Lots of great conversations, discussions on vision and a handful of disagreements/conflicts!

One discussion we've had is the idea of writing a book someday about what we've learned about marriage from riding a tandem. Here are 5 insights (but we think there are probably more like 15-20!).

Exactly one year ago today, June 16, 2019, Ronda was told by an Urgent Care Nurse Practitioner to go directly to the ER. Within several hours she was in a surgery that was totally life-altering and that would require a reversal surgery and months of recuperation.

In late May of this year we shared our story for Fellow Church's God Story segment. This was one of the major health challenges we've faced in our 40+ years of marriage. But as you'll see, we didn't face it alone.

By Kermit Rowe

I have a question for you: What is it about a question that leads us to answers?

I am being a bit facetious, but I am also trying to make a point.

It seems our go-to tendency is to go into a conflict trying to get out of it at any cost. For many, the surface level of conflict is so uncomfortable that the modus operandi is to go no deeper into the issue than is absolutely necessary to achieve some semblance of temporary peace. Is there a better way?

By Lavern Nissley
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Our country appears to be coming apart at the seams. 

How do we assess the comparative damages of a 2-3 month quarantine against an external virus to a one week explosion of pent up anger, riots and looting following a horrific internal act of police brutality in Minneapolis? Both have brought incredible negative impact that leaves gaping wounds and losses - of collective body, soul and spirit.

The 4 Communication Danger Signs that we help couples, families and workplaces back away from are being totally disregarded by politicians, news media, community leaders and self-appointed experts on social media. Escalation, Invalidation, Negative Interpretation and Withdrawal are the "new norm" for all things communication.

However, I'm grateful for many voices of calm and hope in the midst of chaos and insanity. I'd like for you to hear 2 of them.

By Grant Edwards
(Grant is senior pastor of Fellowship Church in Springfield. He's given us permission to include his reflections and suggestions from scripture and personal experience. Insomnia can affect relationships by making us more irritable and insensitive with each other!)
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Too many of us can't sleep.  It’s so frustrating -- 3 AM and wide awake.  Then 6 AM and you fall asleep with the alarm sounding at 7 AM.

Someone then remarks,  "You look like something that the cat dragged in from a night of prowling." 
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We want to call down fire from heaven on them!

Seth and Lisa Perdue are Encompass board members and have a compelling marriage story that they shared for Fellowship Church, January 27, 2019. As they indicate in their story, it is only with the help of God that they are still together, having navigated one of the most challenges hurdles and couple could face.

By Lavern Nissley

We were curious as to how COVID-19 and quarantines were affecting marriages and the kinds of impact couples have been experiencing the past 6 weeks. Last week we made available a simple survey; today we share the results. A total of 53 completed and submitted their responses.

By Lavern Nissley

You would think that more time together is good for marriages, right? However, some countries are reporting increased divorce rates due to the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Travis Childress, in an April 20 blog post observed: "The problem, according to some experts, is that time together actually acts as an X-factor to the quality of the marriage. If the marriage is strong, time together can bring the couple closer together. If the marriage isn’t strong, it can drive the couple apart."

We're interested in how the COVID-19 pandemic has affected your marriage relationship. If you are married, we invite you to complete a brief survey, and we'll share the results this weekend from those completing it by noon Friday, May 8.