From reactive to proactive - 2 circles

Our promotions coordinator, Hollie Kowalski, selected a scriptural encouragement from 2 Timothy 1:7 as our blog theme for April. "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline."

By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director

This is not a Bible study, but the central premise comes from scripture. And it can have a positive effect upon our relationships.

There are hundreds of things in the world that are just plain scary and intimidating - that is, making us feel timid and tentative. Another word that comes to mind is "reactive", pretty much controlled by circumstances around us.

This is so different from that which is characterized by power, love and self-discipline. It will become even more obvious when you see 2 circles, one of my favorite concepts from Stephen Covey's bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Each of us have a Circle of Concern that represents . . . wait for it . . . all the things we're concerned about. Like our health, having enough money, our kids growing up to be responsible adults, etc. It's normal and OK to have a Circle of Concern with many such topics contained within it.

Then there is the Circle of Influence that lays over the Circle of Concern. It represents what we can actually DO about the items in our Circle of Concern. As you can see, it will always be smaller, because no one has absolute influence over every concern.

Here comes the encouragement. Those who focus primarily upon their Circle of Influence actually expand that circle to cover more and more concerns. THIS IS BEING PROACTIVE. Relationships are healthier for those who focus on their Circle of Influence.

In contrast, those who focus primarily upon their Circle of Concern will see their Circle of Influence shrink. THIS IS BEING REACTIVE. Relationships are more strained for those who focus on their Circle of Concern.

From 66 years of life experience and 45 years of marriage I observe that my capacity for healthy relationship interactions is way better when I'm in my Circle of Influence - reflecting and asking myself, "Lavern, what can you actually do about these concerns?"

​My faith in God is a huge Circle of Influence choice that leaves me empowered, loving and self-disciplined.

Let's talk about this