actions speak louder than words

​We’ve all heard the saying “actions speak louder than words.”. There are few places that is more apparent than in our intimate relationships. We may be able to talk a good game to acquaintances or on social media, but our closest loved ones are the ones who know whether we live those words out! This is why it’s so important in romantic relationships to not only be saying loving words to our partner but for our actions to back it up. Let’s look at a few practical ways this can happen!

• Learn your partner’s love language and actively love them in their own language! If you’re not familiar with love languages, start here: fivelovelanguages.com  Understanding how your partner feels most loved can really change the game. You may be showering them with compliments daily but if their “language” is physical touch your words are only partially effective!

• Share responsibilities and labor in your relationship. You probably already do this but it can be helpful to do regular check-ins with each other. Asking your partner if they feel satisfied with the division of labor. As seasons of life and circumstances change, what you need from one another can also. So, it’s great to get in the habit of checking in regularly. One partner feeling they carry the bulk of the labor in the household is a fast way for resentment to grow which can be toxic for a relationship.

• Be trustworthy. While it’s great to tell your partner they can trust you, do your actions confirm that? Many people think of trustworthiness in the big things like infidelity. But often it’s manifested in the smaller day-to-day actions! Do you follow through when you commit to something? Are you there when you say you will be? Are you accountable for your actions, big and small? Those are the smaller stepping stones that lead to trust (or lack thereof!)

• Make sure your nonverbal communication matches your words! Are you showing your partner affection? Do you put your phone down and make eye contact when they are speaking? Our body language, tone and mannerisms can sometimes convey a message that’s very different from the words we’re speaking. Be aware of how you stand, what tone you use, etc when interacting with your partner. Am I nonverbally conveying love?

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These are just a few ways we can ensure that we are showing our partner love in our actions as much as our words! If you are reading this and wondering where you might need improvement, ASK! Find a time when you both are relaxed and able to have a private conversation and ask your partner if there are areas you could be showing your love more. The more willing we are to hear and work on growth areas the more likely our relationships will thrive! 

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