Gotta love those lists

By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator

​At first, I thought it had to be an error. After triple checking my planner, I happily accepted it as our reality. A whole day off! No events, no appointments, no practices, no rushing! WOOHOO!!  But, THEN my mind immediately goes to my to-do list: order groceries, hand wash the delicates, clean the bathroom, prepare a lesson for my small group, start planning next weeks schedule, shop for Easter baskets… Ugh! (Insert hand over face emoji here.) My brain needs an “off” switch! 

 I have always been very task/goal oriented.  I enjoy having a tangible list with a number of attainable daily/weekly/monthly, even yearly tasks/goals to complete. As I check off each one, I feel accomplished; proud of myself for being productive and meeting or exceeding goals. I just love to see those check marks stack up! I can get a bit carried away with this process at times though, becoming too focused on the tasks that lie before me. My view turns to tunnel vision quickly- so much so, that I get irritable or lose sleep when I feel a lack of productivity or achievement, when I’ve gotten off track, or when I’m left with an unmet goal. I have a tendency to miss out on some of life’s current joys because I’m consumed with my task at hand.
 
 I know it’s not healthy, so I pray that I am able to prioritize, focus on what’s truly important, and be “IN” the moment.  The scripture that comes to mind: “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) What a great reminder. An “abundant life.”  ABUNDANCE signifies a contrast to feelings of lack, emptiness, and dissatisfaction. God wants us to feel “full,” satisfied, and at peace in our lives. I know that my relationships thrive when I am feeling “full” and at peace. So, in the midst of this very busy life, I’m learning to make my lists a bit “leaner,” and be more flexible with the expectations I set for myself. Things happen. We get off course sometimes. Some tasks/goals take longer to achieve, and others… well, they get taken off the list altogether and THAT’S OK.
 
Here's how to become a bit more flexible concerning self-expectations:
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• Continue to remind yourself that there will ALWAYS be ongoing projects, tasks, and goals to complete. Prioritize and LET THE SMALL THINGS GO sometimes. You don’t need to “prove” your competence or worth by making sure that last load of laundry is done. Your time and attention is worth so much more to your family.

• Communicate clearly and calmly. When irritable because you missed the mark (and it will happen occasionally,) speak your truth to those closest to you. Something like, “I’m upset because things didn’t go they way I wanted them to.” Verbalization tends to help me as soon as the words leave my mouth!

• Find a community that spiritually inspires you. I feel so “full,” and at peace after coming together with my small group. As fellow believers, they provide spiritual care and support, when I feel like I am not “measuring up.”

• Have a regularly scheduled “meeting” with yourself. Take this time to be still. Close your eyes, clear your mind, listen for God to speak to you through the silence. (Often times this is when I am reminded things change. I’m not perfect and it’s ok to miss the mark occasionally.)

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• Get fresh air and exercise regularly as you’ll think more clearly about your tasks at hand/ goals in mind and their purpose. (Also your emotions are less likely to spin out of control if things don’t go as planned.)

If you’re looking for guidance and growth in your relationship or parenting abilities, get in touch with a knowledgeable and sincere advocate or coach at Encompass Connection center by following the links below. 

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