Get into the communication game … AND WIN!

By Kermit Rowe 
Encompass Relationship Facilitator 
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More than half my life was spent as a sports journalist, a life that is now in the rearview mirror. But I continue to see valuable corollaries between the games of the sports world and the game of life. In my last four years as an Encompass Connection Center relationship coach, the similarities are even more glaring – especially in realm of committed couple relationships. ​

The following lineup of questions is meant to help us create and maintain healthy relationship practices and have one thing in common. If you can guess what it is then you’ll have the key to a lasting, satisfying relationship (Note that the correlating sports terms and phrases are in bold.)

• Are you "in the game?" You simply can’t succeed in a game if you don’t play. 
• Are you a team player? Is your goal to add to your win column, or are you in it for the team? 
• Do you know your team’s playbook? Do you have consistent, regularly scheduled discussion times and agreed-upon conflict resolution tools? This is exactly what Encompass Connection Center’s RINGS chat and S.O.S. conflict resolution tools provide. 
• Do you take strategic timeouts? Have you and your partner agreed to allow each other to call temporary timeouts when discussions start to get heated? If not, you’ll regret it. 
• What is a victory? Is it really a victory when you win an argument (translation: your spouse loses?) 
• Do you invest enough time in training and practice? Are you training consistently and practicing good skills? The old adage “You’ll play like you practice” definitely applies in relationships. 
• Do you review the game films? Reviewing a disagreement helps us understand what went wrong and what went right, then aids a plan of doing it better in the future. ​
• Are you willing to give 110 percent for the full four quarters, and if necessary work overtime to secure the win? Are you staying in the game until there is agreement and/or resolution is reached? 

So, have you guessed the key to a lasting, satisfying relationship? It’s good, respectful, understanding, accepting, loving communication. It is the oxygen of any relationship. With communication, relationships breathe and are healing and healthy. Without it, relationships suffocate. 

Are you having trouble communicating with your partner? Let us help! We'll give you the tools to help sharpen your communication skills and walk along side you as you learn how to create fulfilling, productive relationships for years to come. 
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