5 Values my dad taught me

Lavern with his Dad, David Nissley, June 21, 2020

Our posts during June will feature the themes of Fathers, Father's Day, Leaders/Leadership.

By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director

My Dad would have turned 90 tomorrow, June 8. Although much of my experience of him as a father included spillovers from his own unhealed and unresolved childhood (anger, anxiety, agitation), I still miss him and acknowledge positive takeaways from his life.

He passed November 12, 2021 and is buried in Arcola, Illinois at the Sunnyside Mennonite Church cemetery. Mom was buried in the same plot earlier this year after her death March 6. Some of the content you'll see in this post is drawn from A Tribute to Our Dad that Ken, Karen, and I shared at his funeral.

But his legacy and impact are anything but buried. In some quirky and interesting ways they live on both in and through me.

So here are five life values that Dad taught me, mostly by his own example:
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• Enjoying animals. Dad had a heartwarming habit of engaging with animals throughout his life. He would not only talk with animals; he would also talk through them, as if to represent their thoughts. Dogs, cats, cows, horses, rabbits, squirrels, birds, etc. all found their way into Dad's heart. Sometimes I catch myself talking to or about Sammy, a little Bichon Poodle we had years ago. It's cathartic and stress-relieving - if not a bit puzzling to observers!😊
• Working hard. Dad's hands were larger and more calloused than mine. Shaking his hands always gave me the impression that he had done years of manual labor - which he had. When he could still see, before macular degeneration set in, he would spend hours in his little workshop building items out of wood: clocks, bowls, stools, lamps, checker boards (with checkers and chess pieces), marble rollers. Some of his creations are absolutely amazing. I think about him at times when I'm doing manual labor projects. Pushing through the fatigue and temptations to quit has yielded personal achievements I look back on with a sense of accomplishment.
• Telling stories. Dad loved an audience. Nothing blessed him more than being able to tell a story he had told many times before to someone new. Often the stories were longer and more involved than they needed to be, but he put himself into them with different tones of voice and textures to build interest. Some of my own storytelling probably gets longer and more extended than necessary. I just know there is something about a story that connects with people's hearts. Who doesn't love a good story?
• Growing faith. Dad had a daily habit of reading his Bible in the morning. I often saw him in his chair reading when I got up mornings to start my own day. He placed great value upon knowing and understanding scripture. In his later years, after he could no longer read, he would listen to the Bible on tape. He wrestled pretty transparently with things in scripture that seemed inconsistent or puzzling to him. Since I had a Bible college education, Dad would often call me about questions he had. Usually, I enjoyed discussing his attempts to understand. Like Dad, my days begin with a time of solitude and Bible reading.
• Being helpful. Dad loved coming to the assistance of others. If there was work to be done, he would seek ways to be a part of it. Likely, this was a reflection of the second value above, working hard. This was the relational side of things with a positive outcome of being perceived as likeable. While this can have some dangers attached, like being overly people-pleasing, I've seen being helpful as fulfilling and fruitful in my own life of service to others.

This is not an exhaustive listing of values Dad taught me, but it reflects the top ones I see in my own life. Despite Dad often being challenging to relate to, I appreciate the positives and choose to celebrate his contributions to me.

Happy birthday, Dad. And Happy Father's Day.❤️🙏🏼❤️

Dad with miniature steam engine and threshing machine he built

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