By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
Time and time again, I sit in the coaching rooms of Encompass Connection Center as one of its relationship facilitators and work with struggling couples who find themselves wondering: “How did we ever get here?” No one gets married to get divorced. One chooses “to become one” with another human being with the belief that life together with our perceived soulmate will be much better than without them. Yet the stresses of life, inevitable mistakes by both spouses and poor communication habits erode their relationship and weaken their love. How do they get back to where they started their holy matrimony?
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By Ronda Nissley
Encompass Co-director By now, you may have heard the term “quiet quitting” in relationship to employment. If you haven’t, this is when an employee decides to do “just enough to get by” – no extra effort, no striving for excellence, and no emotional buy-in to the mission and purpose of their employer. This is justified by our desire for work/life balance and the sense that we don’t owe our employer anything but to do the job we’ve been hired to do. Personally, I’m very curious how this will work long-term – for the employee as well as the employer. Introduction by Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director The brief video we're featuring answers the question, "How do you know when it's time to seek help in your marriage?" Not every couple reaching out to us is on the brink - some just want to grow in their skills. But Kevin and Renee were giving it one final attempt. Their heartfelt reflections are an encouragement to all couples who can identify with them. Encompass Connection Center helps couples learn how to create fulfilling, productive relationships for years to come. We offer a free relationship assessment to determine your relationship’s strengths and potential threats. For additional help, look into our RINGS Experience, which includes marriage strengthening exercises and a coaching model to help build real intimacy and growth skills. We'll also help you to break those destructive patterns that may negatively impact generations. By: Cindee Johnson Encompass Relationship Coach Orange barrels. No trespassing. Yield. Under construction. Do not enter. Danger. No outlet. Stop. Do you ignore these cautionary signs? Hopefully not! They are meant to protect you. Do you know there are cautionary signs for our relationships, too? Although these aren’t posted quite so clearly along life’s journey, they can become glaring warnings, especially in communication and conflict. As the 5 Man Electrical Band sang in 1970, “Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.” But... what are the signs? How do we identify them? Where do we get help in understanding them? Relationship researcher John Gottman has identified“ Four horsemen” seeking to destroy marriages. They ride in with signs we can’t afford to ignore. Gorman describes the four like this: By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director If you wanted to improve your golf swing or baking skills, you would likely seek quite a different avenue of professional expertise than if you had just suffered a compound fracture.
Relationships and marriages have these same two dimensions of expertise: one is more focused upon healing and therapy, the other upon learning and implementing skills. Let’s dive in and see how these fit together. Video featuring Drew and Sarah Brown
RINGS Experience course and coaching participants Drew and Sarah have full lives with 6 young children. They face the daily challenge of making quality time for each other. While going through the RINGS Experience course they acquired a valuable connection tool, the RINGS Chat. But implementing it into their busy schedule was tough. And tiring. But they adapted and adjusted to make it work given their context. The result: A potent legacy of a healthy marriage to pass along to each of their six children. Watch their story in a 3 minute video. By: Ronda Nissley, Co Director Ahhhh, February- a month of ROMANCE. Each week in February we're discussing the seasons of romance in marriage. After visiting the pre-marital, honeymoon, and "with kids at home," seasons, this week we're ready to find out what happens romantically after the kids leave home! Next week, we’ll finish with the golden years. Romance…. When the kids leave home
We’ve seen it many times. Kids go off to college, they move out and start their own lives. What was once a flurry of daily activity that centered around the children has now ceased. The days of shuttling kids to school; attending sporting events; washing mountains of laundry; re-stocking the refrigerator and pantry (daily); de-cluttering dropped book bags and coaching our children through life’s challenges eventually do come to an end. Suddenly, parents find themselves alone again with the realization that they hardly know, let alone like their partner anymore. It doesn’t have to be that way! By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator Ahhh February- a month of ROMANCE! Each week in February we’ll be sharing about the seasons of romance in marriage. Last week we visited the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons. This week we’ll talk about romance while the children are at home. Next week will be for the empty nesters and finally we’ll finish with the golden years. Parent or romantic partner … which comes first? What is the most challenging time in a marriage? When the honeymoon is over. The trick of course is to be able to keep the honeymoon attitude alive. But no matter how romantic the two are, that comes to a screeching halt when the two who became one, turn around and become two again, and three, and four, and … well, you get the picture. There are a lot of challenging ‘hoods out there, but none more challenging than parenthood. My wife and I, and some of you I’m sure, have been there and done that. Our nest is empty, and we don’t mind at all (most of the time). But many of you homemakers are in the eye of the storm, and those winds can howl. As an Encompass relationship facilitator and pastor, I’m constantly seeing the shrapnel produced by kid-induced, divisive war on the home front. It is heartbreaking as it is home-wrecking! By: Hollie Kowalski, Outreach Coordinator Welcome to February- a month of ROMANCE! Each week in February we’ll be sharing about the seasons of romance in marriage. Today we’ll visit the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons. Next week we’ll talk about romance with children at home. The following week will be for the empty nesters and finally we’ll finish with the golden years. ❤Romance in the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons:
My husband Joe and I have been married for almost 19 wonderful years, so I’ll have to think back a few years to remember that glorious stage of euphoria that was our dating life. To sum up the two years that we dated, I would use words such as: butterflies, excitement, security, preoccupation, infatuation, insecurity, anxiety (the good kind,) and you guessed it- ROMANCE! Each week in November we'll be sharing stories from grateful couples who have seen their family trees forever changed through growing in relationship skills. This week we hear from Darnell and Bekah, participants in the RINGS Experience course for couples.
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HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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