Romance through the years: Premarital- Honeymoon seasons

By: Hollie Kowalski, Outreach Coordinator

​Welcome to February- a month of ROMANCE! Each week in February we’ll be sharing about the seasons of romance in marriage.  Today we’ll visit the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons. Next week we’ll talk about romance with children at home. The following week will be for the empty nesters and finally we’ll finish with the golden years. 

❤Romance in the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons:

My husband Joe and I have been married for almost 19 wonderful years, so I’ll have to think back a few years to remember that glorious stage of euphoria that was our dating life.  To sum up the two years that we dated, I would use words such as: butterflies, excitement, security, preoccupation, infatuation, insecurity, anxiety (the good kind,) and you guessed it- ROMANCE!

My Joe was the most considerate, affectionate, sweet talking, poem writing, gentleman. He didn’t do or say anything that he thought I wouldn’t be crazy about. On one of our most romantic dates, he invited me to his dorm at UC, where he had candles lit, and as I listened to the faint voice of John Mayer singing in the background he presented me with the most delectable Kiwi dessert he had prepared just for me! Needless to say, after that, (or maybe even a little before) he had me. I was hearing wedding bells and envisioning what our children would look like. Many more romantic events ensued and after a year and a half, on a chilly night in Fountain Square, he got down on one knee and asked me to be his forever.  I still get goosebumps when I think about it.
 
The romantic pre-marital season is generally the shortest season we’ll experience as a couple. If you are currently on this breathtaking journey, while you travel, keep things in perspective. If all goes according to plan, this stage will at some point evolve into planning a life together-forever. Remember to start the relationship with healthy habits and open lines of communication, so you are less likely to take the relationship down a route that only one of you knows the direction. This includes long talks about your values, expectations, and sensitivities.
 
After much goal setting, planning, (and hopefully a good word from the Lord,) you’ll soon become one. Now a new challenge begins! The whirlwind honeymoon season is filled with moving boxes, paint colors, new routines, and COMPROMISE. How romantic, right!?  Keeping the romance alive during the honeymoon stage will set a precedent for years to come. This time, often before children, should be all about the two of you. Make plans to stick together whether that means cleaning the house or taking a romantic weekend getaway, after a long work week.  

​Along with paying bills and sharing the toothpaste, you now have access to greater security and intimacy than you’ve ever known. Decide now, to celebrate your intimacy and appreciation for each other every day as if it were your last!
 
 
 How to Make Your Honeymoon Season Last Longer:

1. Share your gratitude. Each day, Share with your partner at least one thing that you are thankful for in them. For example, “Joe, I am so thankful that you started the laundry this morning,” or “I am so thankful that you aren’t a picky eater-it makes cooking for us, so easy!”
2. Random acts of ROMANCE. Go out of your way to, a couple of times a week, perform a “RAOR.” Leave your partner an intimate note or offer a soothing massage.
3. Plan a new experience/adventure. Take time away from work/family and friends to take a quick trip or share in a new activity.
4. Hug, kiss and connect OFTEN. Unplug and make an effort to hold hands, or hug and kiss. Tell a story or joke. Take your minds off the everyday monotony.
5. Be an encouragement. When you see your partner achieve a difficult task or accomplish a new goal it gives them confidence, which most find attractive, and it also helps your partner to feel attractive. It’s a win-win!!

​Are you in a difficult season of marriage? Encompass Connection Center helps couples learn how to resolve issues and create fulfilling, productive relationships. For many couples, those issues can stem from a lack of participation. Just like any problem, though, participation issues can be fixed. We offer a free relationship assessment to determine your relationship’s strengths and potential threats. For more help, look into our RINGS Experience, which includes marriage strengthening exercises and a coaching model to help build real intimacy and growth skills.

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