By Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator To a great degree, we are what we think. The decisions we make and actions we take are dictated to a large degree by the self-talk we have and the thoughts that self-talk generates. So, when we live in a society that does not put a premium on aging, if the elderly believe what society tells them, then they can easily fall into what I call “the downhill mentality.” Our culture is not particularly kind to its aging population, hence the perception that we are “over the hill” once we hit the age of 40. And, like we just said, we are what we think.
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By Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of finishing well where it applies to parenting. Obviously parenting never really ends, but the seasons of it change! For context, my husband and I have five kids that range from 14-24. So, we have three out of the house now and two still left at home. We are in the home stretch of active parenting after two and a half decades of our lives revolving around it! When my kids were little, I often thought this would be the easier stage…what could be harder than breastfeeding and sleep deprivation and potty training? I laugh now at how unaware I was to the realities of parenting teens and young adults! While I’m not finished yet, I’ve learned a few things in this process of how to finish well with your kids that I wish someone had told me! By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator If you are anything like me, you started 2023 with a short list of big goals, maybe a resolution or two, much anticipation about a fresh start going into the new year, a bit melancholy about the quick passing of time and some feelings of disappointment over the setbacks and unmet expectations of the year prior. As we conclude this year, I’m choosing to focus on finishing well in preparation for a fabulous start to 2024. I invite you to join me! I believe a few great ways we can end the year well are... Our theme for November blog posts is on "finishing well." Especially the impact that doing so has upon relationships.
By Lavern Nissley Encompass Executive Director Finishing has been a major theme for Ronda and me the past several years. In 2018-2019 we moved our four octogenarian parents to Springfield from Central Illinois (my parents) and London, Ohio (her parents) to Springfield, Ohio where we could more easily support them in their twilight years. All of them eventually became residents of Forest Glen or Wooded Glen. We literally came into the world with nothing, unable to care for ourselves. And typically, that's how we're going to leave this world. Three of our four parents have crossed the final finish line of life: my Dad, November 12, 2021; my Mom, March 6, 2023; and Ronda's Mom, September 26, 2023. Ronda and I are also looking at closing a major chapter in our own lives as we step away from executive leadership at Encompass by June 1, 2024. So, finishing . . . finishing well has been on our minds a lot! My heart kind of jumped when I heard the theme for blogs this month. By: Ronda Nissley
Encompass Co-Director In 30+ years of working with couples, we have observed an increasing propensity of couples to choose divorce simply because they’re “not happy”. We hear phrases like, “I just don’t feel that way about him/her anymore”; “We’ve grown apart”; or “I’m not happy in this marriage.” – as if these are valid reasons for ending the marriage. A study conducted by a University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite challenges this conventional wisdom. Of couples that rated their marriages as “very unhappy” but avoided divorce, 8 out of 10 reported they were “happily married” five years later! By: Hollie Kowalski
Encompass Outreach Coordinator Oh, how I love this boy. My son Dominik has his mother’s…well, everything. He is the most like me out of my four kids. The poor kid got my need for control, independence, my stubbornness, sensitivity, and poor math skills. But he also got my big heart, my passionate, charismatic personality, my drive, determination, and eyes that tend to see the best in people. The two of us stick together like glue…until we don’t. Due to our passionate and sensitive nature, if we don’t agree on an issue, our home becomes a battleground and unfortunately the innocent bystanders, known as our family, get drawn into battle as well. By: Cindee Johnson
Encompass Relationship Coach Traffic was flowing smoothly on the fairly crowded Columbus, Ohio, roadway. As we neared a major highway split, the vehicle next to us floored it. Cutting through the area marked with yellow hazard lines, the driver suddenly shifted into our lane barely missing a concrete barrier that could have tragically stopped him. Our Jeep automatically sensed the reckless vehicle and slowed nearly to a stop. My husband Dave looked ahead breathing a sigh of relief that the Jeep offers such great safety features. At the same time, I watched in the passenger side mirror commenting that the Jeep nearly stopping was not safe and we were going to get rear-ended! Our blog posts in October will focus on perspective, especially those glimpses of insight that guide us toward healthier relationships.
By Lavern Nissley Executive Director of Encompass Since November 2021 three of our four parents have passed, and I've had a major influence upon developing what the funeral/life celebration service will look like. The most recent life celebration was that of Ronda's Mom, Cora Miller, who passed peacefully September 26, 5:20 pm, right before an Encompass board meeting I was attending. Two bits of perspective came to me during the planning and actual life celebration service. Join me in this brief reflection and see if anything resonates with your own experience. September's theme for our social media and blog posts is devotion/faithfulness. Kermit Rowe, one of our Relationship Facilitators shares about the skills needed for a lasting marriage, that many times are in short supply.
Devotion and faithfulness seem to be in short supply in our culture these days. So, when you see these two qualities alive and well in a lasting marriage, you’ve got to wonder what that couple has that about 50 percent of the couples who enter into holy matrimony don’t. By: Abby Glaser
Encompass Community Advocate When our Outreach Coordinator told me this month’s topic is devotion and faithfulness…my first thought was that I didn’t have anything to say on that topic! Which is ironic since I have been with my husband for 25 years now. I suppose I do know a thing or two! While the definition of devotion includes love and loyalty, which is what most think of when they hear that word, it also includes “enthusiasm!" That definitely got my brain thinking… when was the last time I expressed enthusiasm for my partner? |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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