The relational benefits of finishing well

Our theme for November blog posts is on "finishing well." Especially the impact that doing so has upon relationships.

By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director

Finishing has been a major theme for Ronda and me the past several years. In 2018-2019 we moved our four octogenarian parents to Springfield from Central Illinois (my parents) and London, Ohio (her parents) to Springfield, Ohio where we could more easily support them in their twilight years. All of them eventually became residents of Forest Glen or Wooded Glen.

We literally came into the world with nothing, unable to care for ourselves. And typically, that's how we're going to leave this world. Three of our four parents have crossed the final finish line of life: my Dad, November 12, 2021; my Mom, March 6, 2023; and Ronda's Mom, September 26, 2023.

Ronda and I are also looking at closing a major chapter in our own lives as we step away from executive leadership at Encompass by June 1, 2024.

So, finishing . . . finishing well has been on our minds a lot! My heart kind of jumped when I heard the theme for blogs this month.

Here is my bottom line: Finishing well adds relational value and favor to those who follow us.

Here is the application: In preparing for our own transitions (from Encompass leadership and our eventual passing on), we want to make it as easy as possible for those who follow us.

• Our parents all had updated wills, Power of Attorney documentation, financial accounts access, and pre-paid funeral/burial expenses completed so that their children were not left scrambling for important information when the inevitable happened.
• We also plan to make such logistics available in advance to our children. It truly is a gift to them for us to be proactive while we still have our minds!
• Our parents had downsized their possessions so as to reduce the amount of items left behind for their children to deal with. I'm not sure the downsizing was always voluntary for them; we kept encouraging them to keep only what they absolutely needed, and we likely had differing definitions of "need." But, at the end, we didn't need to spend months disposing of "stuff."
• We are in the process of making our own twilight years "minimalistic", attempting to live simply and keeping only what we need. We've actually found this to be freeing rather than constraining or uncomfortable. The smaller condo we acquired in late 2022 has more than met our needs, especially after some strategic renovation.
• Next summer, as we pass on the baton of executive leadership we plan to provide as much information and have "everything in order" so that the next executive director can hit the ground running and maintain continuity of service for healthy relationships.

As you read through these applications of finishing well, can you see how those who follow us would be more likely to appreciate the proactivity and planning than if we just finished . . . but didn't finish well?

This isn't an easy topic to ponder. But in view of our own involvement in helping aging parents finish, we see the importance of planning far in advance so as to finish well.​