how NOT to treat your wife

By Lavern Nissley

Dave Wilson and I were chatting briefly after a men's breakfast. He was telling me about how he doesn't know what to tell other men when they ask him the secrets of being married 40+ years. But he knows what husbands should NOT do!

I asked him, "So, what are your top three things NOT to do? He very quickly listed them

By the way, Dave and Cindi have been married 46 years.

(The main headings are from Dave. I filled in with a few exaggerated specifics.)

Don't appreciate her

• There's no need to. She's simply doing her job and fulfilling her wedding vows just as you are.
• If you go down this path of appreciation, she'll start expecting it. Ya don't wanna go there.
• She's likely not appreciating you, either. Keep it reciprocal.
• If you do slip up and thank her for something, don't get emotional. Very unmanly.

Don't spend time with her

• You're already spending 50+ hours a week working. That's gotta count for something.
• You can't really give up all those hours watching NFL and college football. Monday night, Thursday night, Saturday and Sunday afternoon/evenings.
• Then there's softball Tuesday and Friday evenings, cards and Saturday morning breakfasts with the guys.
• And just chillin' and winding down with video games. Gotta have that down time.

Don't validate her ideas and plans

• Her ideas aren't as well thought out as yours, so it's best to add your own concerns and modifications to bring hers up to par.
• You're the leader in this relationship. If anything, she should be validating your ideas and plans.
• She doesn't need your validation. If she is confident of her ideas and plans, you won't really add anything through validation.
• Whatever you do, don't look at her when she's sharing her ideas and plans. Eye contact will only add to how she expects YOU to be involved.

So, in case you haven't caught it yet, this is satire and not meant to be taken seriously. 

Unless you do just the opposite: Appreciate her, spend time with her and validate her ideas and plans. Those are 3 time tested secrets to 40 years.

Thanks, Dave Wilson, for the list!

As an added bonus in the realm of satire, we're including a brief video from JP Sears on how to use passive aggressive techniques in your relationship. Also not meant to be taken seriously.