Happy wife, happy life?

By Lavern Nissley

I've never been a fan of the saying, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Ronda and I have talked about it, and we both have found it somewhat derogatory and sexist.

A 14 year research study in the UK took a look at this hypothesis and came up with some pretty interesting results. And some compelling implications.

Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation, and Steve McKay, University of Lincoln, used data from the Millenium Cohort Study to look at up to 13,000 families who had children in the years 2000 or 2001.

Both moms and dads were asked "How happy are you in your relationship" when their child was 9 months old. Follow up questions continued as well as looking to see how families turned out when the children were 14 years old. You could read the 8 page technical study with all kinds of charts and graphs, statistical data and hard to understand researcher lingo. (We've provided a button link to it at the bottom of this post.)

But, we'll spare you the effort to share two major conclusions that you can easily understand.

• If mom is happy with her relationship as a new parent, she is more likely to stay together with the dad over 14 years, compared to a family where the dad is similarly happy.
• Happy moms are also more likely than happy dads to produce teenage children with fewer high levels of mental health problems.

They aren't concluding that dads are unimportant. There are plenty of studies that underscore the impact of healthy fatherhood. Our friend, Eli Williams of Urban Light Ministries in Springfield, Ohio, has been championing this cause successfully for years.

However, female satisfaction is a more significant factor in staying together and child mental health well being than the following:

• Marital status
• Dad's happiness
• Mom's ethnicity
• Mom's education

I love the bottom line implication from Harry Benson: "The one role that nobody can take from a man is the responsibility to love mom well. If he does that, he will discover the huge benefits that we have now demonstrated".

And at Encompass Connection Center . . . we can help with loving mom well!  CLICK HERE if you or someone you care about wishes to get in touch with us.

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