Don't be an April Fool!

By Lavern Nissley

Practical jokes and pranks are what April 1 is known for. Kinda fun to lure people into thinking something unbelievable is true, and then exclaiming, "April Fools!" One comes to expect good-natured pranks on this day, but what if we shifted the terrain a bit? What if we could identify some pretty foolish things, and then NOT do them in April? What if we narrowed the list of foolish items to relationships? Maybe this is what would emerge . . .

Through the month of April, how about we avoid being a fool by:
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• NOT taking to Facebook or social media to air grievances about a family member, friend or co-worker. Nothing good is going to come from enlarging the circle of involvement in an interpersonal conflict. In fact, usually, it is easier (and wiser) to limit the number of people we share our concerns with. We can then focus on addressing the actual person or persons we're feeling "prickly" with.

 

• LISTENING more than TALKING. Have you ever noticed that the people you have the most respect for are good listeners who ask you great questions? You get the feeling they are genuinely interested in your life, not just impressed with themselves. How refreshing to be in a conversation where the time and amount of talking is SHARED - much the way a great basketball team shares the ball (versus "ball hogging").

 

• Taking time to COOL DOWN when upset. Hitting "SEND" when angry does not usually end well. Escalated emotions make us do and say things we later regret. Why not breathe deeply, take a timeout and get our emotions under control? Moving from the emotional brain to the thinking brain takes an average of 18 minutes. So, pressing the "pause button" for at least 30 minutes could yield much better outcomes.

 

• Targeting a 5:1 POSITIVE to NEGATIVE statement ratio. Bad things do happen. Not every day is rainbows and butterflies. And it's healthy to share our frustrations and disappointments with friends who care about us. It's also healthy - mentally and physically - to live a lifestyle of gratitude and thanksgiving. Keep a running 2-column tally of the positives and negatives that come out of your mouth - which column is has the most? 

 

• Agreeing to disagree GRACIOUSLY. Is this ever needed in our current atmosphere! There are some things that good-hearted people will not see eye to eye on. Rather than cancel people who have different viewpoints or perspectives, can we at least validate their frame of reference? "I can understand and appreciate how you came to that conclusion. It's just that my view is different, but I respect you for sharing yours."

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Are any of these ones you would join me in living out through April. If we do, we WON'T be April Fools!