correct verbally, affirm in writing

By Lavern Nissley
Includes excellent content by guest, Jeff Cook

So, what do you think? Better to confront someone verbally in person or by writing? What is at stake with either? Let's hear some excellent reflections by Jeff Cook on this.

​I have often benefited from warm affirmations that people took the time to write. I write to affirm others often myself. 

On the other hand, I have often profoundly regretted the times I wrote to correct or challenge. I weaponized words. It perpetuated and documented disappointments or shortcomings in a way I never intended.  

Or sadly, sometimes in a way that I did. It’s a wound that can keep on wounding. 

My perspective:  
Speak truth. Practice affirming folks in writing. A lot. They will read it a thousand times. 

When the truth is painful, you can still communicate it. But unless there is a clear legal need to document your criticism, speak it. Don’t write it. They will read that criticism a thousand times too. Unfortunately. 

“Life and death is in the power of the tongue.”
And pen.