apologize sincerely

By Lavern Nissley

You've heard of The Five Love Languages, right? By Dr. Gary Chapman? Quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation and physical touch. These are types of love "deposits" into people's hearts.

But what about when we make "withdrawals" through intentional or unintentional offenses? Are there also "languages of apology"? Yes! There are! And by the same author!

The Five Languages of Apology by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas explores how one prefers to experience an apology from someone who has offended you. And by the way, we've all been offended as well as committed offenses. I estimate my offenses of Ronda, my wife, to be in the thousands!

So here are the five languages of apology:

• Expressing Regret - Saying "I am sorry", an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person.
• Accepting Responsibility - Saying "I was wrong" sincerely, admitting that you make mistakes.
• Making Restitution - Going beyond words to actions, making amends through an attitude of "How can I make this up to you?"
• Genuinely Repenting - Modifying behavior to avoid the situation in the future, verbalizing a desire to change. "I want to make sure this doesn't happen again."
• Requesting Forgiveness - Asking (not demanding) the offended party for forgiveness, leaving the choice in their hands. "Will you forgive me?"

Which apology speaks your language? What about those who are close to you in family or work?

Take some time to reflect personally with one other person today, each sharing your preferences. And if you know you've offended someone, apologize sincerely, perhaps even using all five languages to cover the bases!

​"I am SO sorry for hurting you. What I did was wrong. Anything I can do to make this right for you? I value our relationship and don't want this to happen again. Will you forgive me?"