5 insights about marriage from riding a tandem bike

By Lavern & Ronda Nissley

This past weekend we received a combined Mother's Day/Father's Day gift from our daughter and son-in-law. It's a fun cartoon of the two of us on our tandem recumbent bicycle, masterfully drawn by local artist Valerie Rieker of https://vnrieker.artstation.com/.

We purchased this bicycle in 2010 and have logged about 12,000 miles. Riding it together is truly one of our favorite together activities. Lots of great conversations, discussions on vision and a handful of disagreements/conflicts!

One discussion we've had is the idea of writing a book someday about what we've learned about marriage from riding a tandem. Here are 5 insights (but we think there are probably more like 15-20!).

1. We are inseparable. When you're 20 miles out on a tandem ride, you can't very easily just get up and leave. There is a sort of constraint that keeps us together (our seats are 30" apart). We have to make it work, and sometimes we've needed to just stop talking/escalating. But there's a positive side to being on a ride together on a beautiful day, knowing we have a destination meal to enjoy together somewhere.
2. Stay hydrated and nourished. This is a cardinal rule of biking long distances. Ronda has been really good at packing little energy snacks that we can experience as we're riding. Long term marriages benefit from regular enrichment. Otherwise, we'll end up bonking, that is, hitting the wall or the bonk. It's a biking condition of sudden fatigue and loss of energy which is caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles.
3. What one does affects both. One fateful day Lavern forgot to unclip from his pedals as we came to a stop. What do you think happened? We both fell to our left, and we both got bruises (both physical and ego). Because we're a team in marriage there are no actions or attitudes that are totally independent; we're both affected.
4. One stretch at a time. Long bike rides are best broken up into shorter segments. In the century rides (100+ miles in a day) we've completed, we've always kept our sights on getting only to the next stopping/resting point, usually about 20 miles further. This keeps us from getting overwhelmed. In marriage it's a day, a week, a month at a time, and we can do it.
5. We're in this together. We've "conquered" some pretty steep hills on our bike. Ones that meant shifting down to the lowest gear and counting our pedal strokes together to get to the summit. Pretty fulfilling looking back down the incline and saying, "Ha! We did it! Together."

We are very grateful for the 100's of hours and 1000's of miles on our Sun Tandem. There has truly been a body, soul and spirit refreshment as we've used this means of travel - a symbol of what we're still learning about our own marriage journey.

By the way, let us know your thoughts about the idea of writing a book on this topic. Would you read it?