3 ways to speak my love language: Physical touch

​The Encompass Outreach Group is going through a blog series on the 5 Love Languages!  Over the next few weeks we will be focusing on different love languages, the impact they have on our lives, and how we can fill others' "love tanks!"

By: Lavern Nissley

​There is an all too familiar Physical Touch occurrence of something Ronda, my wife, does in our bedroom that usually takes my breath away. It begins with my awareness that she is slowly moving in my direction. Suddenly, her cold feet make contact with me, and I experience an "ice bucket challenge" moment. She knows that my love language is Physical Touch but doesn't seem to understand "not THAT kind of touch!"

​Fortunately for me, Ronda has learned to provide less traumatic expressions of Physical Touch. Here are 3 of them:

• A simple hug. Nothing long, extensive or even overtly romantic. Just a heartfelt, unsolicited embrace that lets me know we're on the same team. It's amazing how such a hug affects me emotionally: I feel more confident and assured, knowing that the physical act of Ronda hugging me goes far deeper than the warmth of her touch and closeness. It goes to my heart.
• Neck/shoulder massage. We're not talking about a full-on deep tissue massage you'd pay a professional massage therapist for. Just a minute or so of recognizing a common area where most people carry stress. I feel comforted when Ronda turns toward me, leans in and just begins to "set free" the soreness and aches that have accumulated.
• Tasty food. So this is a form of Physical Touch we've stretched a bit. We both agree that when Ronda prepares a delicious entree, it legitimately counts as Physical Touch. Think about it; the smell of the food touches nostrils, the food itself touches tastebuds, and then leaves a sense of well-being while touching the esophagus all the way down after being swallowed! No doubt this one could also count as an Act of Service, but for me, it fills my Physical Touch love tank and my stomach.

Behind all three of these ways that Ronda speaks my love language is an undeniable reminder that I matter to her. And what a huge difference that can make!
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According to Dr. Gary Chapman every person has a "love tank" that is filled up when others "speak their love language".  Encompass Connection Center offers a free survey to help couples determine their love languages.  What are yours?  

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