Marriage Checkup: 10 Questions to Assess the Health of Your Relationship

By Dr. David Marine Mabry

Encompass Executive Director

Most people schedule annual physical checkups.
Very few people schedule a marriage checkup.
Yet relationships rarely deteriorate overnight. More often, couples drift gradually—through busyness, stress, unspoken frustrations, or simple neglect. A regular relationship health assessment can help prevent that drift and strengthen your marriage intentionally.
If you want a healthy marriage, it’s wise to pause occasionally and ask honest questions.
Not to assign blame.
Not to create fear.
But to build awareness. ​

Why a Marriage Checkup Matters

Healthy marriages are rarely accidental. They are built through attention and skill.
A simple marriage checkup allows couples to evaluate emotional connection, conflict patterns, shared direction, and overall relationship satisfaction before small issues grow larger.
Here are ten questions that can help assess the health of your relationship.
First, consider your emotional connection.
Do we feel safe sharing what we are thinking and feeling?
When something is bothering us, can we bring it up without fear of escalation?
Emotional safety is the foundation of healthy marriage communication. Without it, important conversations get postponed—or avoided altogether.

Next, examine your conflict resolution patterns.

When we disagree, do we stay respectful?
Do we repair tension quickly, or does it linger?
Healthy conflict in marriage does not mean the absence of disagreement. It means disagreements are handled with care.

Now reflect on friendship.

Do we genuinely enjoy spending time together?
Are we still curious about each other’s growth and experiences?
Friendship is often overlooked, but it is one of the strongest predictors of long-term marital stability.

Then consider shared direction.

Do we have shared goals for our future?
Are we aligned on major decisions involving finances, parenting, and priorities?
Couples who lack shared vision often feel disconnected—even if they rarely argue.

Finally, ask about appreciation.

Do we express gratitude regularly?
Do I feel valued by my spouse?
Affirmation strengthens security. Silence can unintentionally create doubt.
If some of these questions reveal areas of concern, that does not mean your marriage is failing.
It means your relationship deserves attention.
A marriage checkup is not about diagnosing crisis. It is about building strength.

At Encompass Connection Center, we offer a structured relationship assessment designed to help couples identify both strengths and growth areas. Many couples begin with a free introductory meeting where we listen carefully to their story and help determine next steps. For some, that includes the RINGS Experience, where we teach practical relationship skills that foster communication, trust, and lasting connection.

Strong marriages are intentional.
And intentional marriages change family trees.
If it has been a while since you evaluated the health of your relationship, perhaps this is the right time to begin.