Healthy Boundaries in Marriage: Staying Connected Without Losing Yourself 

A few years ago, a woman asked a simple but loaded question: "How do I love my spouse, but still express my own voice and needs?" 

It's a question we hear in different words almost every week. Couples come to us tired — not because they don't love each other, but because somewhere along the way they lost track of where one person ends and the other begins. 

That's a boundaries problem. And it's worth talking about, because boundaries are one of the most misunderstood words in marriage. 

Say "boundaries" out loud and a lot of people picture walls — distance, keeping someone out, building a case for separateness. In reality, healthy boundaries are what make closeness possible. They're not the opposite of connection. They're what keeps connection from collapsing into either control or distance.