good or bad, our families provide us with powerful growth opportunities

By: Kermit Rowe
Encompass Relationship Facilitator

​For better or worse, till death do us part, our family remains our family. We can ignore them, refuse to have a personal relationship with them, but we can’t ignore the blood connection to them given to us by God through our birth.
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If God is the God He claims to be – the holy, perfect one with no beginning or end, who has no evil or error in Him – then it follows that He makes no mistakes. And it follows that the family He placed us in is the family we are meant to be a part of. In His perfect, infinite wisdom. To question our family origin is therefore questioning Him. He could have sent us into any family, in any hometown, in any native country, at any point in history. But He chose to send us into the life and family we currently occupy.

His stated position concerning us in His Word is that He loves us, He is for us, and wants us to have a satisfying life through strong, positive relationships – the most important of which is a relationship with Him. When we live according to His ways that are not our ways, we move towards that satisfaction. Then next is family. That tells me that there are growth opportunities within our divinely ordained families.
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Wait a minute, you say? You don’t know my family, you counter? We are a mess, you claim? True, I probably don’t know your family. But I know God’s design for families, and therefore for your family. That they are supposed to be our port of storm on the choppy seas of life. That they are meant to be the first incubator of love we are sent to thrive in. That they educate, provide for and protect us (and even oftentimes entertain us, LOL). That they are meant to grow us as we grow.

Our first major growth opportunities!
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I also know that personal and cultural imperfections can slow, stunt, even halt positive growth. When that happens in family, our connections can weaken. Our tendency then is to pull away, to isolate from them. But if God’s intention is family (He in fact created family before He created government!), would it be His intention that we turn away from them?
I’m thinking the answer to that is no! In fact, I know it is. Indeed, we grow more in the valley where the soil is more fertile because it is more watered (water always moves downhill) than on the mountain top. We tend to grow more in the bad times than in the good times. If you don’t agree, consider how violently and ferociously Satan attacks the family in our culture!

All of this makes family a critical growth opportunity! In fact, this opportunity to grow through family and a better understanding of them is a cornerstone of the Encompass Connection Center ministry. We spend the most part of one coaching session looking deeper into family trees. That’s one of the big reasons why I personally am so committed to being one of Encompass’ relationship facilitators. I’ve seen soooo much growth from doing this, and it serves as a foundation for ultimate success as we offer the wonderful, impactful relationship tools we offer later in the program.

So open yourself up to a new perspective on family, and your family. And find the deepest relationships you can ever have apart from the marital bond, relationships God not only encourages but empowers and assists you in enjoying. Relationships He pre-ordained you to have when He placed you in the family you are in!

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