We All Need a Gratitude Intervention

By Cindee Johnson
​Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner

It’s that time of year when our thoughts turn to roast turkey and baked ham, pumpkin pie with whipped cream, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, green beans, stuffing, deviled eggs, sweet potato casserole, macaroni and cheese, pecan pie, fresh dinner rolls, and…family. Ahhhh, the family. We gather together with family giving thanks with grateful hearts. Or do we? 
Do we give thanks with grateful hearts? And, does it really matter? Turns out, it does. In fact, it matters a lot. 

Because a grateful heart matters for our emotional health as well as the health of our relationships! Psychology Today reports scientific studies have proven that cultivating a mindset of gratefulness can even protect us from psychological distress. “A 2010 systematic review found that “an attitude of gratitude” is linked to reduced incidence of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse; it has also been shown to help people adjust to traumatic life events and their aftermaths.” That’s significant. Yet, what also caught my attention is this—in addition to all the emotional and psychological benefits, a grateful heart is just plain good for our relationships. Whether it be with friends or family, in marriage or parenting, expressing gratitude toward others builds healthier relationships and improves connection. 
  
At the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill a research team conducted an experiment looking at the relationship between a grateful heart and connection among couples. The team developed a program to help participants express gratitude to their partners. Over five weeks, couples who followed the program showed more gratitude to their partners and, importantly, were drawn to spending more time together each day—68 minutes more on average each day—as compared with couples not enrolled in the gratitude intervention! 
  
That’s significant. In just five weeks of expressing intentional gratitude, couples were choosing  
to spend more time together, leading to deeper connection. You see, when we feel gratitude for  
another, it turns our attention away from the negative and toward appreciation. And, that doesn’t  
just change the recipient, it changes the giver. 
  
Which makes me wonder if we all would benefit from a gratitude intervention. 
  
Hmmmm…what might happen if you and I intentionally spend the next five weeks giving thanks with a grateful heart for another person in our life? Who would you choose? Your spouse? Your child? A parent? A friend? Those may be fairly easy choices. But what about that family member you aren’t too excited to see this year around the holiday table? 
Gratitude matters. And, it matters a lot.