Want to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids? Start with Your Marriage!

By Dr David Marine Mabry
Encompass Executive Director

At Encompass, we believe that a healthy marriage is one of the greatest gifts parents can give their children. Not because the marriage is perfect, but because it is real—rooted in mutual respect, open communication, and a commitment to growth. Children who grow up watching their parents intentionally nurture their relationship​ absorb powerful life lessons that shape their emotional intelligence, relationship skills, and overall outlook on life. Here are the top lessons children learn when they are raised by parents with a healthy, growing, and vibrant marriage—a relationship that embraces both the struggles and the joys of life together. 

1. Conflict is Normal — and Can Make Relationships Stronger 
Kids learn early that disagreements happen in every close relationship, but how those conflicts are handled makes all the difference. When parents address disagreements with respect, listening, and problem-solving—rather than avoidance or anger—children see that conflict is not something to fear. Instead, they learn that working through differences can actually strengthen relationships, teaching valuable skills they’ll carry into friendships, future dating relationships, and even their own marriages.

2. Love is a Daily Choice and an Action 
Children raised in homes with a growing marriage see love as more than just a feeling--it’s something you show through kindness, time, and intentional care. From small gestures like a warm greeting at the door to words of appreciation or affection, children observe that love requires action. This teaches them that real love is something you invest in every day, especially when life gets busy. 
 3. Communication Builds Connection 
Healthy marriages thrive on open, honest communication, and children who see their parents regularly talking—about the big things and the small things—learn that communication is the lifeblood of healthy relationships. They witness their parents express feelings, listen actively, and work through misunderstandings, giving them a relational toolbox they will use for the rest of their lives. 
 4. Teamwork and Shared Responsibility 
When parents work together to manage the household, support each other’s dreams, and navigate parenting as a united front, children experience firsthand the power of teamwork. They learn that strong families function like a team, where everyone’s contribution matters and no one carries the load alone. This teaches kids collaboration, responsibility, and selflessness—skills that will help them succeed in every area of life. 
 5. Resilience and Perseverance 
Life throws challenges at every family—financial stress, health struggles, or personal disappointments. When parents face these hardships together, they show children that setbacks are not the end of the story. Instead, they are opportunities to grow stronger as a team. Kids learn that problems can be overcome through patience, creativity, and unity, building their own sense of resilience. 
 
6. Forgiveness and Grace 
No marriage is without mistakes, but children in homes with healthy marriages see their parents apologize, forgive, and move forward. They learn that forgiveness is not a weakness, but a strength—and that letting go of grudges creates space for healing and growth. This invaluable lesson shapes how children handle conflict and forgiveness in their own relationships. 
 
7. Love and Laughter Belong Together 
In vibrant marriages, children also see joy woven into everyday life. They watch their parents laugh together, find humor in the chaos, and choose to celebrate life—even when it’s hard. This teaches children that marriage can be fun, not just functional, and that playfulness and affection are essential parts of a healthy relationship. 
 
8. Healthy Love Respects Individual Growth 
Children also learn that being part of a strong marriage doesn’t mean losing your individuality. Parents who encourage each other’s personal growth—whether through hobbies, career goals, or spiritual development—show children that healthy love makes room for both togetherness and independence. This helps children understand the importance of self-care, lifelong learning, and encouraging others to thrive. 
 
A Legacy Worth Leaving 
At Encompass, we believe that parents who invest in their marriage are building a legacy that will shape their children’s relationships for generations to come. These lessons—about love, communication, resilience, forgiveness, and joy—are gifts that last a lifetime. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. And that’s a legacy worth leaving. 
 
Want to strengthen your marriage and inspire your kids? Explore our RINGS Program and Parenting for Kids Sake Program to help your family thrive.