Dealing with Seasons of Transition

By Dr David Marine Mabry
Encompass Executive Director

In marriage, you will experience many seasons: times of joy and times of grief, seasons of good health and seasons of illness, years of parenting young children or teens, and years of empty-nesting, just to name a few. When you took your vows, you said, “...for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part,” and you will likely see each one of those in some form or another throughout your years together.  ​

How do you navigate the seasons of your relationship? 
​In our first few years together, we experienced most of these in quick succession, with lots of overlap. Theresa was diagnosed with a serious illness, and we grieved the loss of several friends and members of our church. Theresa’s father passed away unexpectedly, and we became pregnant with our first son. Any of these could disrupt even the most solid of marriages, so you can imagine how we felt challenged by the onslaught of events we experienced. Fortunately, our marriage remained strong throughout this, but it wasn’t the cakewalk we expected for the beginning of our life together. Here are some lessons we learned through these seasons of transition, difficulty, and change. 
 
Draw strength from one another. As we were both suffering from our pain, we found ourselves trying not to burden one another with our hurts because we didn’t want to pile on to what our partner was already carrying. We don’t recommend this. You have this partner to walk beside you for better or for worse. It’s a safe place to share your heart and encourage them to do the same. When you are feeling weaker, your spouse can be your strength. When the tables are turned, you’ll gladly do the same for them. 
 
Draw strength from those around you. There will be times when you both need someone to lift you up. Don’t shut yourself off from your friends, family, or network of loved ones. Rather than isolating, remain in “community.” You may feel like the only ones who have gone through this, but everyone has their own story, and you may know someone who can relate to what you’re experiencing. Allow them to help, encourage, bless, and even bring you a meal from time to time.  
 
Acknowledge that life won’t always be easy. We don’t want you to live in fear but encourage you to prepare. While things are good, make your relationship as healthy as you can. Seek out marriage coaches who can teach you the tools you need to communicate, manage conflict, and tighten up any areas you may be lacking. When troubles come, you will be glad you’ve got the knowledge, experience, and practice to strengthen and maintain your relationship so you can put more of your focus into tackling the issue at hand. 
 
Lastly, don’t compare your difficulties to those of others. You may not want to discuss your season of difficulty with your friend going through their own challenges because you think their problem is greater than yours. Your friend likely won’t see it that way. Trials come in different forms; they hit people differently and are each hard in their own way. Have the courage to open up and allow others into what you’re going through. It may not be easy, but when you come to the other side of the pain, you’ll have the chance to be the one who can bless others and lift them up through their trials. 

We're hiring! If you think you might be a good fit as our new administrative assistant, please click here!