By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Executive Director In April we are featuring posts about children and parenting. One of my all-time favorite public exchanges with two of my children, Josh and Kristen, was during a Father's Day message in 2003. It was an interview format where I asked them a series of "penetrating questions" related to parenting. Their responses may surprise you!
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By: Hollie Kowalski, Encompass Outreach Coordinator
A day in the life of the Kowalskis: 7-8a drop kids off at school (two different schools) -38 min drive- 9a-2p work -35 min drive- 2:45p pick Josie up from school, -35 min drive- 3:30p pick Dom up from school, drop him at home; Josie change clothes -25 min drive- 5p drop Josie off at rowing (use carpool for pickup) -55 min drive- 7:30p Isaiah's soccer game -55 min drive- 9:30-10:45p Homework, showers, and finally... bedtime This is a fairly typical week night schedule for our family. It makes me cranky just planning it, but this is what families "do" now right? This is the new "normal." But how is this new normal affecting our families? By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator
Another Mother’s Day has come and gone. The relationship between a mother and her children has been widely heralded and celebrated, and deservedly so. The women who were divinely chosen to be our gateway into this world are the glue that helps hold our families and nation together. However, if that parent-child relationship supersedes the husband-wife relationship, trouble in the family usually follows. Picking your spouse over your kids is increasingly becoming unpopular advice as the country increasingly turns away from God and His ways. However, not making that choice goes against the priorities God set up for all marriages. His order of priority when things get unclear: God first, your spouse second, the kids third. This doesn’t mean that you love your children less. God forbid! But when we decide to accept God’s gift of holy matrimony with the love of our life, we are expected to live our married lives in His holy ways. There’s a reason “forsaking all others” is part of the traditional wedding vows. All means all if push comes to shove. Why is it important to choose your spouse over your kids if you must pick one over the other? Here are just four of the myriads of reasons: By: Abby Glaser, Community Advocate Can you feel it? The days are getting longer. The temperatures outside are getting warmer. Spring is in the air, and spring is the season for fresh starts. Even parents need a fresh start sometimes... Every time I sit down to write a blog post on parenting or begin teaching a parenting class I always feel the need to clarify that I’m not an expert. Most people already know this but you’d be surprised at how many think mother of five children equals expert! One of the interesting things about my current stage in life is that I now have two adult children living out of my house and three still at home. So I’m starting to hear from the older kids areas they feel I could have done better and I have the opportunity to make some of those changes now with the younger kids. While my big kids will often lament about how differently we parent their younger siblings, my response is always of course! Just like them, their dad and I are always growing and evolving and trying to do a little better than we did before. In some ways one of the gifts of having multiple children that span a ten-year age gap is that we get ongoing chances to pivot and do better. I often hear from parents in coaching that they feel stuck or in a rut with their kids, especially teenagers. I’d like to offer a few ways to pursue a fresh start! By: Kermit Rowe, Encompass Relationship Facilitator Ahhh February- a month of ROMANCE! Each week in February we’ll be sharing about the seasons of romance in marriage. Last week we visited the pre-marital through honeymoon seasons. This week we’ll talk about romance while the children are at home. Next week will be for the empty nesters and finally we’ll finish with the golden years. Parent or romantic partner … which comes first? What is the most challenging time in a marriage? When the honeymoon is over. The trick of course is to be able to keep the honeymoon attitude alive. But no matter how romantic the two are, that comes to a screeching halt when the two who became one, turn around and become two again, and three, and four, and … well, you get the picture. There are a lot of challenging ‘hoods out there, but none more challenging than parenthood. My wife and I, and some of you I’m sure, have been there and done that. Our nest is empty, and we don’t mind at all (most of the time). But many of you homemakers are in the eye of the storm, and those winds can howl. As an Encompass relationship facilitator and pastor, I’m constantly seeing the shrapnel produced by kid-induced, divisive war on the home front. It is heartbreaking as it is home-wrecking! By: Abby Glaser It’s hard to believe the holidays are here! If you are like me, you are already making progress on your shopping list for Christmas. One of my favorite parts about the holiday season is seeing the generosity of our community. There’s something about the Christmas spirit that brings out the best in us! You may like to give to organizations that help those in need or you may prefer to do it yourself through adopting families or giving trees. However you spread Christmas joy this year, consider giving the gift of dignity! You may be wondering what that means... allow me to explain!
By Encompass Outreach Group When you get married, you get your first experience of having in-laws with your partner’s parents. This can often be a time filled with frustration and complications. However, once you have children and they grow up, get married, and have families of their own, you suddenly become the mother-in-law or father-in-law that you once had to deal with. Here’s how to be a good in-law when your child has a family of their own:
By Tessa Stump For years I have been terrified to parent. When I picture raising a child, I picture having a guest in my home for 18+ years. Someone whose happiness dictates all of my decisions and priorities. Notice I said happiness, not holiness. My husband and I want children, but at the same time this type of existence is pretty terrifying.
By Lavern Nissley
I noticed a recent Facebook post by good friend Jeff Pinkleton about his annual check in with daughter, Leah. He referenced an article from All Pro Dad that provides a helpful framework for doing annual check ins with his kids. Could be appropriate for more frequent than annual, if that's a better rhythm for you. Want to see the questions? By Lavern Nissley
I've never been a fan of the saying, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Ronda and I have talked about it, and we both have found it somewhat derogatory and sexist. A 14 year research study in the UK took a look at this hypothesis and came up with some pretty interesting results. And some compelling implications. |
HostsLavern & Ronda Nissley are co-directors of Encompass. Married since 1978, both enjoy coffee, riding their tandem bicycle and working together to build strong relationships. TOPICS
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