Breaking Family Patterns: Turning Generational Curses into Blessings

By Cindee Johnson
Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner

The first time I heard the term “generational curses” in a relationship workshop, I gave it a bit of an eye roll. It sounded archaic—something that surely didn’t apply to me, my marriage, or my family.

I only half-listened.
Until I heard this:

“When not recognized and broken, generational curses can destroy marriages and families.”

That statement got my attention—and it has kept my attention ever since

What Are Generational Curses?

Generational curses are dysfunctional, toxic habits that tend to repeat themselves within families. They might show up as patterns of addiction or abuse, emotional distance, poor communication, financial mismanagement, or ongoing conflict.

No matter the form, these patterns damage the health and well-being of individuals, marriages, and even entire communities.

Research supports this reality. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that nearly 64% of U.S. adults experienced traumatic or stressful events in childhood—things like abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction.¹
And a recent analysis by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that a caregiver’s exposure to these experiences can affect future generations.²

The truth is, what isn’t healed gets handed down.

Why This Matters for Your Family

Has that been evidenced in your own story?

When my husband and I looked at our family trees, we could both trace unhealthy habits that had been passed down through the years. Seeing them written out helped us understand not only why we react the way we do at times—but also how we can choose a different path for our marriage.

You can do the same.
This isn’t genealogy—it’s a personal reflection tool we use in The RINGS Experience to help couples recognize and replace unhealthy patterns while strengthening positive ones.

Reflect and Renew

Take a few quiet moments to think—or even write out—your reflections:

1. Family backgrounds:
How are your family backgrounds different? (Consider size, closeness, socioeconomic status, faith, or lifestyle.)

2. Grandparents:
What were your grandparents like? How did they get along with your parents? Were there addictions, mental health struggles, or relational challenges—and what positive traits do you see as well?

3. Parents:
What patterns do you notice in your parents’ relationship with each other and their families? What characteristics do you admire or hope to avoid?

4. Your relationship:
What are your own marriage or relationship patterns? What habits have carried forward—and which ones are you intentionally trying to change?

Now pause and reflect:

• What positive trends do you want to continue? Celebrate those!
• What negative patterns do you want to discard? Letting go is freeing.
• What new habits or traditions will you begin? You’re creating a healthy family tree.

Creating a New Legacy

Recognizing these generational patterns—those toxic habits on repeat—gives us the opportunity to break them.
When we do, we change the story for future generations.

Breaking old cycles brings freedom, healing, and peace. And just as important—it creates blessings that ripple outward for years to come.

Listen to "The Blessing."

“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” — Numbers 6:24–26 (NIV)

When we invite God into our family story, He not only blesses us—He reshapes our legacy.

Take the Next Step

If you’re ready to start breaking unhealthy family patterns and building a new story for your marriage, The RINGS Experience can help.
Through practical tools, coaching, and guided exercises like the Family Tree, Encompass Connection Center helps couples and individuals discover new peace and purpose.

Contact Encompass Connection Center today to learn more or register for an upcoming RINGS Experience.

¹ Prevalence of Adverse Childhood Experiences Among U.S. Adults — Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 2011–2020, CDC, June 30, 2023. ² Caregiver and Child Adverse Childhood Experiences: A Meta-Analysis, American Academy of Pediatrics, January 14, 2025.